Darkest Desires
by Ruby Casablanca
Summary: When Bella discovers that her boyfriend Jacob is gay, she feels as if there is no one to love her. Alone, Charlie has had to settle for fantasies to cure his aching needs. With both desperate for companionship, can they find what they need in each other?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Snip. Snip.

The pieces of the photograph fell to my feet in a scattered, messy pile on the carpet along with all the others. Snippets of blues, greens, purples, blacks, and the palest of creams lay in a circle around the spot where I was sitting, most falling off my bed and to the ground.

Snip. Snip. Snip.

And with a final cut, the picture in my hand was completely mutilated, the characters inside a hundred percent unrecognizable. Discarding the remnants of the one in my hand, I reached down into the old shoe box to pull out another, ripping it out of the masses of other photos. I seized the scissors once more and immediately began attacking the small paper print of the two happy, smiling people.

Snip. Snip.

More of my anger was cut away with the picture, but it seemed as if my body had an unlimited supply of the red hot emotion, and the more I snipped away, the angrier I got. I had been cutting up my old memories for at least an hour and I only felt the urge to destroy more.

I was about to sink the metal fangs into the freshly picked picture, when I stopped to remember the particularly happy memory that lived in it. I was young, nearly six years old, holding a pansy between my chubby fists and blushing wildly, my free hand suppressing my giggles as I watched the tanned little boy who had recently handed the flower to me blush as well. He was a year younger than I was, only five, but even then, at such a young age, we had crushes on each other, and I never thought they would end.

The memory didn't calm me down in the least; in fact, it made me more enraged. I brutally attacked the object with the sharp blades until it was confetti, scattering it above my head and watching it rain down. After the pieces landed, I got the most unsatisfying taste in my mouth, like I had swallowed lead. Scowling, I threw myself against my bed, the box spilling old memories across the carpet with a soft thud. I let out a frustrated groan, totally fed up with my inability to release my anger at him. I mean, I knew the breakup wasn't his fault; I knew he didn't have a say on his sexual orientation, but even though I saw it coming, it didn't hurt any less.

Jacob and I had known each other since I could remember. Growing up in Forks, Washington, it was hard for us not to know each other in a place where everyone knew everyone. We were childhood friends, our dads being friends before us, and after my mom's accident and his mom's suicide, our two families grew closer. We were like childhood sweethearts, adjoined at the hip since the time we could talk, and over the years, we grew closer and closer.

Everyone always taunted and teased that we would get married, have kids, and all through school we denied it, but the blush on our cheeks were obvious. I would never have admitted it to him at the time, but I had truly grown to love him. After all, he was my closest friend and confidant, the only one who I could talk to about my mom. So, it was of great relief when he told me he loved me and wanted to go out with me in our ninth grade year. I, being completely elated but not at all shocked, accepted his offer, and for the next three years, we were inseparable and completely in love, or at least I thought so.

In the beginning of junior year, right after my sixteenth birthday and a month after we'd done it for the first time, Jacob started acting weird. We went from being practically the same person to strangers overnight, and the shift shocked me. While the emotional change was instantaneous, the public one was more gradual. He slowly stopped eating lunch with me, he didn't carry my books anymore after a while, and then he even stopped holding my hand. I was about to ask him what his deal was, when he shocked me with the undeniable truth that I myself had been denying for a while.

_I was eating lunch with my friends, most of whom were nervously watching me for any news on my deteriorating relationship, when Jacob came sauntering in, his golden tanned skin glowing even under the artificial lighting of Forks High. Even on his worst day he was too beautiful for this drab town, and I was shocked how this man, whom I had known since we were little, had grown into something so beautiful, someone with perfectly toned muscles and a tasteful sense of men's fashion and flawless skin. I was wondering why he ever even chose me._

_He walked right up to me and my circle table of friends, right in the center of the cafeteria, the perfect place to put on his show. I sat up straight and my friends, especially Jessica, tried to look busy and not shoot me glances of worry. He looked tense, like he wanted to tell me something, but he wasn't talking and neither was the small group of his fellow football players. In fact, they looked nervous to be anywhere near me, like a bomb might go off at any moment._

_"Bella, we need to talk." he said in a smooth, even tone though his eyes never left the table._

_"What is it Jacob?" I ask, my voice struggling to stay calm._

_"Can we go somewhere more private?" _

_"Why? So you can break up with me somewhere more private?" I ask with venom, my voice elevating, raising some heads in our direction._

_"No! Bella, we really need to discuss things, things that are better discussed in private."_

_"Oh, so you want to spare me the humiliation of being dumped in public? How generous."_

_"You are taking this way out of proportion!"_

_"Oh am I?" I yell, standing up from the table to face him better. At this point, the entire cafeteria is looking at us, standing right in the middle of the room acting like this was a showdown, and it was. Everyone is silent. "I am out of proportion? I wasn't the one who left me hanging in the wind all the sudden! I mean, what the hell is your problem Jake, trying to give me whiplash or something?"_

_"No! That's not at all what I meant to do-!"_

_"Then what is it Jake? What the hell is going on?"_

_"Goddamn it Bella! You want the truth? Fine! I'm gay!"_

_It took me a minute to register what he was saying, what he was finally admitting to. The impact of his words was like a punch to the gut; I could literally have keeled over and died of embarrassment and shock right then and there. The entire lunch room was dead silent, eyes wide and breathing silently, which wasn't helping. All eyes were on us, even my friends who were supposed to help me were left speechless, and they all awaited my response. I didn't have any. Because the truth was, in my heart of hearts, I knew he was gay; I had known for a long while._

_I guess my suspicions were always there. The way he dressed, the way he carried himself and how he spoke with such elegance and emotion were unlike any other guy I had ever come in contact with. He was always more sensitive and temperamental than his friends, and he knew fashion like no one's business; it was always scary when he showed up to school looking better than I did, but at the time, I just shoved those thoughts back into my mind as being part of who he was._

_The ideas really started to kick in after we had sex for the first time. He never seemed very comfortable during, and when it came time to actually go through with the action, he pulled away and took my ass instead. In the times we came together afterwards, it was always anal and he made a very clear point of staying away from that spot between my legs that he seemed to have a strong aversion to, as if it was radioactive. He rarely touched me at all, trying to get it over with. I knew I shouldn't have tried to get him to sleep with me again after the first awkward time, but I needed him because I loved him. I wanted him to be my first, and I guess in a way he was, if fucking my ass doggy-style counted as taking my virginity._

_After the failed attempts at sex, I watched him pull away and draw closer to other guys, not his usual group of friends, but a group of guys whom the school had classified as loners. In the back of my mind, I knew it was a coalition of homosexuals trying to hide out of sight until high school was over, but I never much focused on them unless I caught Jake ogling them, which he did a few times during our relationship. If that wasn't a sign, I didn't know what was._

_So, when it came down to giving a response, to satisfy the hungry eyes who probably already knew about Jake and awaited a showdown, I had nothing mean to say. I had no venom; I had no tears or spite. I was shocked, shocked and strangely relieved._

_"I-I know Jake." I was finally able to pull out, ending the longest period of silence in my entire life._

_"What?" His voice went dead serious, his pupils dilating._

_"I've had my suspicions for a while now...I guess I'm not a hundred percent shocked."_

_"You've known?"_

_"Yeah..."_

_Another silence filled the room, and it was as if the only two people who existed were Jacob and I, standing across from each other right in the center of the cafeteria. The perfect stage for this twisted play._

_"So, where does that leave us?" he asked nervously, running his hands through his perfectly messy coif._

_"I don't know Jake. I mean, I'm not mad at you; it's not your decision who or what you like. How could I be mad? I mean, I'd have to be a pretty big bitch..."_

_"So, would you like to try being friends?"_

_"Jake, I think that I just need some space now, ya know, and-"_

_I was cut off by the double doors slamming up against the white concrete walls, and I was sure that it was the principal coming in to check up on the debacle that had most likely already spread through all four corners of the building. But, instead of the principal, I was greeted by a startlingly gorgeous guy with silky auburn hair and golden eyes, his body just as chiseled, strong, and flawless as Jacob's, stride over to us quickly. At first, I thought he was coming for me, the way his eyes seductively moved over my body, but was quickly brushed aside as the man cried "Jacob!" and kissed him soundly on the lips._

_I was frozen once more as I watched them shove their tongues down each other's throats, their embrace hot and steamy and particularly arousing for a reason I could not explain. When they finally separated, out of breath and smiling, the man realized that all eyes were on him and Jacob and immediately he began to blush, Jake's eyes falling to the ground, avoiding mine at all costs._

_"Oh...Um..." the red head stammered. Even his embarrassed voice was sexy._

_"Uh, Bella..." Jake said, clearing his throat. "This is Edward, my...my..."_

_"I'm his boyfriend." the red head, Edward, finished for him, watching Jake smile and look away once more. "I'm sorry that I snatched this beautiful man away from you, but I guess I came out to be the better woman, don't you think?" _

_Edward's tone was light, and the last comment seemed to be sincere enough in the apology, but something about the better woman put a bad taste in my mouth. Maybe it was because Jake was actually dumping me and moving on in the same day, and by the looks of that kiss, I assumed that he'd been moving on for a while now. I knew he'd been gay for a while, but I didn't think he'd have a boyfriend lined up so fast! Now I was going to look like the loser and the thought of that made me angry._

_I didn't remember much of what happened next, just that Edward and Jake left as happy as could be while I spent the rest of my day in a shocked daze and in total humiliation. It was apparent that the entire student body knew about this before I did, and I was being played for the fool for a while now. I got the hell out of dodge as fast as I could and when I got home, I immediately locked myself in my room and went to sleep, willing the day to go away. Maybe, I thought, it was all a dream and I would wake up in the morning to have it all go away and have Jake by my side, holding my hand, not macking on another, very sexy, guy. _

_Unfortunately, it was no dream, and as I walked into school the next day, the first thing I saw were Jake and Edward holding hands down the hall surrounded by the three other gay couples in the school. The sight of it all nearly made me run away and never come back, but I forced down the shame and walked with my head held as high as I could muster. When Jake called my name, I gave him a tiny wave, but moved on. I couldn't much stomach the sight of him at the moment._

Snapping myself out of my memories, I saw that I had gone back to the box and had snipped nearly fifty more pictures, including the one with the younger us and the flowers. Sighing, I threw the scissors into a pile of clothes on my floor and walked out, needing a change of scenery. I ended up in the kitchen with my dad, Charlie, sitting down at the table with his cup of coffee and his daily crossword puzzle.

Smiling for the first time in forever, I walked over to the cabinets and pulled out a bowl and a box of Fruity Pebbles, filling the ceramic dish to the brim with milk. I sat down across from my dad who had yet to recognize my existence and patiently waited for him to finish what he was doing. I was nearly done with the cereal when he stirred, crumpling and folding his paper down and stretching out his arms that were stiff from their previously locked position.

"Hey Bells. What's the matter?"

"It's Jake." I say quietly.

Charlie puts on his worried face, which makes me know he really cares about me, unlike my friends who have been mysteriously out of life for the past few weeks since the break up. I knew I could always rely on him.

"What's going on with Jake? Did he do something?"

"It's more like he didn't do something..."

He waited for me to explain, his eyebrows tightly knit and furrowed, darkening his expression.

"Well what didn't he do? If he hurt you Bella, I can go right over to Billy's house and-"

"No, dad, it's alright." I assured him, touched that he cared so much unlike everyone else. "He just wasn't honest with me, about liking me, loving me, at least not in that way."

"What are you talking about Bells?"

"Apparently, Jake prefers to be with people of his same gender." I took in Charlie's confused gaze. He wasn't getting this. "He's gay dad. Jacob's gay."

"Wh-What?" he stammered, his eyes going wide in disbelief.

"Yeah, I know. But the thing is, I think I've known it for a while, but I was just too afraid to ask or something. And it's not like I can be mad at him for liking guys; I can't control that and it's not like he was cheating on me, at least for very long..."

I thought of Edward and him making out in front of me and how long they had to be together in order to play tonsil hockey that intensely. However, I didn't really view that as cheating since Edward was not a girl and hence had no hole to fuck, at least none that I knew of...

"Wow, Bells, I am...I am sorry...I mean,_ wow_..."

He was running his hands through his hair, almost pulling it out in the process. I knew that this was a lot to take in, especially since my dad was practically the biggest homophobe out there (not like he'd ever say it out loud), and would probably never get over the fact that the little boy he'd known since birth was screwing other men.

"I know dad...it was a shock for me too and I had my suspicions."

"Well, Bella, I'm always here for you. I know this is...tough, and will probably take a lot of getting used to, but I'm sure it will all work out in the end."

My dad had plastered on the nicest smile he could muster, and the sight of it made me smile. I got up and hugged him, holding him close to my body, feeling his strong arms around me, taking in his scent of pine needles and the stale air of the police office. It felt so nice to have him hold me, to cradle my body and let me bury myself in his chest. We were beyond close, probably a little too close for comfort, so when I shifted to give him a kiss on the cheek, our hips rubbed against each other, causing a bolt of electricity I had never experienced before to run up my body and settle in my core, while creating something rock hard in Charlie's pants.

We quickly pulled away, but it was too late to take the deed back, and both of us were mortified. Had I really just gotten excited over my father? And did he really just get an erection from me? True, I thought my dad was handsome, a bit scruffy, but not bad to look at, and he was beyond ripped, that I knew from watching him train from the station gym I sometimes went to, but I never thought he was sexy. At least I didn't think that way until now.

Now, it was as if all my past, child-ly, innocent thoughts about my dad were replaced with incestuous ones filled with desire and curiosity. At the moment, in my hormone induced state, there was nothing I wanted more than for someone to touch me, and unfortunately, that someone was Charlie. That burst of energy was like no other high I have ever experienced, and I, like every teenager, had done a few hits here and there, but Charlie's touch was stronger than any drug. It was like lightning had struck my most private places, leaving them tingly and wanting more. I could tell he wanted me too; his hard-on still visible through the hand he tried to cover it in vain with, and the thought of it made me drool.

_Oh God, how I wanted to feel him in my hands, how I wanted to squeeze him, stroke him. How I wanted him to take himself and ram it straight into my-_

I made myself stop my thoughts midway through before I ran the risk of orgasming right then and there, and I forced myself to remember who the man in front of me was: my father! I was the most disgusting person in the world at the moment, but even my common sense and morals were finding it hard to compete with my raging hormones. Throughout my mental scolding, thoughts of my father's dick filled penetrated the sacred barriers in which I held rights and wrongs. They were all muddled now, and I could no longer decide if my thoughts were right or not. They felt so good; they made me feel amazing, so they had to be right, right?

I knew he had to be experiencing my dilemma; the lust, fear, and disgust was evident all over his face. I knew he had been deprived of sex for a while now, since his last girlfriend dumped him over two years ago now and he didn't do the whole prostitute thing, and he was probably suffering worse than I was. He was so needy, knowing what he was deprived of, while I had not yet experienced it yet. I felt so bad for him, terrible that he could not be relieved of his weighty burden, that it automatically gave my own needs and thoughts verification. Charlie needed to be relieved of his suffering, and I was the only one who could do that for him.

Getting up, I crossed the room to where he stood and wrapped my arms around him, embracing him in another close hug. I saw his pupils dilate and he tried to shove me away, but once more, it was too late. The hard lump I felt before had grown once again, but instead of running away this time, I pulled him in closer until the mass rubbed up against the crotch of my jeans. I heard his breath pick up, and he successfully pulled away from me, his face angered yet red with blush.

"Bella, what the hell are you doing?" he hissed at me, turning his body away from me.

"We need each other Charlie; I can feel it. You need me and I need you."

"No Bella, I do not need you, not like that! What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Charlie, we are the only two people who care about each other. All my friends and my boyfriend left me. You have no friends or anyone to help you in life. We're all each other has, and we need each other, now more than ever."

"Fuck Bella! You are my daughter! Even talking about this is illegal! Do you have any idea how twisted you sound?"

"Don't you trust me Charlie? Don't you love me?"

"Of course I love you Bells, but that doesn't mean that I..._want_ you like that. No!"

"Really? That bulge in your pants would say otherwise."

He cursed under his breath.

"That wasn't meant to happen...it's been so long since I'd had a woman so close to me...I had a momentary lack of control, but it's back now."

"I know Charlie, I know, and that's why I'm doing this. I want to help you; I want to love you_ and _make you feel good. You deserve it, all the hard work you've done raising me over the years. The least I can give you is my love in return..."

"Bella..." Charlie gulped, but we were already getting closer. His hand went out to my face and I leaned into him, straddling his hips as he leaned against the kitchen countertops. I pressed myself right against his hardened member, pushing myself down on him and rotating my hips in a circular motion, causing some low, animalistic sound to rip from his throat.

"We need this Charlie..." I whispered to him, pressing myself down harder, feeling my own wetness pool in the bottom of my panties. "We need each other now. We are all each other has..."

"I know..." Charlie whispered into my ear, grabbing my legs and wrapping them around his waist. His voice was shaky, but the desire was clear.

We needed each other. We were all each other had, and we were all each other wanted.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Warm beams of sunlight reached out to me through the blinds of the window, softly bringing me out of my euphoria-filled sleep. Opening my eyes, I saw the first glimpses of the warm daylight, and sighed, satisfied with my life.

My entire body tingled from head to toe with happiness. Even though it was sore and stretched beyond its normal limits, I had never felt more alive, more awake in my entire life. I lied naked in the cream colored sheets that caressed every inch of my skin with its silky embrace, savoring its feel. I had slept in this bed before when I was a child, whenever the nightmares of mom's accident overtook me or the common thunderstorms frightened me, and Charlie would stroke my hair and tell me that everything would be okay. I would fall asleep in his arms and all would be well. Last night, I had slept in this bed once more, but not because I was afraid of the dark, but because I wanted to be in the dark. Last night Charlie and I made love, became one, and were never going to go back. His arms held me in the night as they had before, but the pleasure of his body replaced the soothing words of safety. We had slept together, no longer as father and daughter, but as lovers.

I loved the sound of that word: Lovers. We were really never much of a father-daughter pair anyway, with his distance separating us ever since he, being the chief of police, had to drag my mother's mutilated body out of the horrific wreckage that was her car. The accident, that night, had permanently scarred him, and even though I was only seven years old when she died, I practically had to raise myself from that point on, because I was lucky if he even gave me a sideways glance. For some reason, he couldn't stomach the sight of me. So, instead of him taking care of me, I became like the parent and cared for him, fixing his meals and doing his laundry, making sure he was up and ready for work every morning. I was like his caretaker up until I turned fourteen.

By the time I was entering high school, he had become more like his old self again. He was more independent and we actually were able to re-grow our relationship a bit, even if it was a little strained or forced at times. With the onus of his well being off my shoulders, I was free to live my own life, and pursue a relationship with Jacob. For a while, I was actually leading a normal life, until my so called boyfriend dumped me for another guy and I ended up screwing my father. Funny how life turns out. In three years my father has gone from being a depressed stranger, to a normal man, to my lover, the latter two occurring over the course of a day.

So, there I was, lying on Charlie's bed naked, my whole body humming with happiness, especially my recently deflowered womanhood. It was as if he had opened up a whole new world to me by claiming my virginity, a world by which I saw the beauty in sex and wanted it, no, more like I _craved_ it. I nearly cried when we had finished; I wanted us to last forever, _needed_ us to last forever. My body physically craved him now, desired his body in every way, and it kinda scared me to think that sex had replaced about 90% of my brain, the remaining ten percent left for basic needs such as hunger and thirst.

Now I knew why monkeys sat around and fucked each other all day. Now I understood why the Egyptians, Greeks, and Romans basically idolized sex. The need for another person's body, for their touch and taste, was animalistic, purely composed of desire and hormones. There was no thought that went into sex, just pure, physical action and then pure, unadulterated bliss. The euphoria, the sheer ecstasy that came from Charlie's lips as he played with me was incomparable to any pleasure I had ever experienced. The need for him was unbearably overwhelming and the feeling of finally having him was nothing short of magical.

No wonder Charlie got so excited when my body met with his in the kitchen. He had felt all this euphoria and pleasure before with other women, and he knew what he was missing. He knew about sex, about the desires and how good it felt to have someone all around you in the most intimate of ways, and he couldn't resist my body when he had the chance to feel that way again. That was one desire, one desperate need that could never be sated or stopped once started.

Fully satisfied at the moment, I sat up slowly as to not wake Charlie up and gently stretched upward, pulling out all the nonexistent tension in my arms. Looking over my father's sleeping form, I smiled. During some point in the night, he had ended up turning away from me, so we were essentially spooning, and I could feel every rigid muscle in my father's back, arms, and surprisingly tight ass. He was actually very attractive when he slept, his hair perfectly messied and his deep breaths making his chest rise and fall in perfect rhythm. But, that could just be his body still recovering from the sex. After all, we were busy almost all night...oh; I got all tingly just thinking about it!

And there it was again; the need springing up out of me in seconds, and it was as if I was blinded by lust once more. I ogled my father's calm body, lavishing in all his definition, until I staring could no longer suffice. I had to touch him, know that he was real, that he was mine. So, acting on impulse, I started tracing circles up and down his back, my fingers barely feathering over him as not to wake him from his slumber. His skin was smooth and slightly wet with sweat from the night before, but it was warm none the less. I heard him sigh deeply at my touch, making my mind remember all those delicious noises he had made just a few hours prior. Oh, they made me so wet!

I was kind of scared about how horny I was; I mean before and even during Jake, I was never really into having sex, I just kind of forced myself to believe he was what I needed. But Charlie, I physically needed him. I needed him beside me, around me, on top of me, buried deep, deep inside me in the place that only he had claimed as his own. I was beautiful knowing I was his and his alone; I knew that no one else could ever make me feel that special, that wonderful. No one except him.

But that was the scary part. Was I really going to spend the rest of my life in Charlie's bed in order to feel complete? Was I really going to crave Charlie and him alone for all eternity? For the moment, I just didn't care. I knew what I wanted, and I knew that I needed him. Besides, it was Friday. I had the entire weekend to think of a good cover story or explanation for this bizarre phenomenon. Right now, all that mattered was me, Charlie, and the layer of sheets that kept him so selfishly away from me.

Just then, I had the greatest idea on how to wake him up, the sexiest 'good morning' in all of history. Slowly and gradually, I got up and turned Charlie over so he was on his back. I received a very scrumptious view of his chest in the process, letting the urge to run my hands all over his sculpted abs take over my mind. He had little curls of hair on his chest near his breasts, the color of the curls matching my own. I let my hands indulge further down his body, following the trail of curls down his body, past his navel, until I reached his hips. Knowing what came next, I slowly pulled down the sheets, tormenting myself bit by bit until he was left completely exposed to me.

I don't think I would ever get used to the sight of his cock, that gigantic mass that hung semi-hard between his legs. I mean, I had seen them before; it wasn't like Jake wasn't well endowed with his almost nine inches shoved in between my ass cheeks, but Charlie had both the length and the thickness to rival Jake's. My father's member was at least half an inch longer than Jake's and he was so wide that my fingers couldn't touch when I wrapped my hand around it. My God! Even the sight of him asleep and inactive was enough to make me drool, enough to make me want to come all over the sheets remembering how far I had to stretch to accommodate him in my virgin pussy. My only regret was that Charlie had insisted on using a condom, one he still wore, and I never got to feel his sweet release. I could only dream of how good it would feel to have his hot seed swimming inside me, filling me to the brim.

Moaning, I placed my hand over Charlie's thigh, slowly stroking it in small zigzag motion, working my way up to his member which was becoming progressively stiffer the farther up my hand travelled. When my hand reached the enormous mass, I slowly began to rub circles over the area with my palm, careful to rub softly so he didn't wake up...yet.

It only took him a few strokes to get really hard, and within a minute, the head of his dick was oozing precum like a volcano oozes lava, and I had to resist the urge to suck him dry. That would surely ruin my surprise. Then, I knew it was time to enact my grandiose plan. Smiling to myself, I kneeled upright on the bed, straddling myself over him, my entrance just inches above his throbbing erection. It was truly amazing that he had not awoken, but my next move was sure to startle him up.

With that mindset, I positioned myself over Charlie and, taking his pulsating member in my hands, slowly lowered myself onto him.

* * *

**CharliePOV**

My eyes flew open the moment I felt her descend upon me, and in the same moment, I lost my mind all over again in the tightness of her sex.

OH MY GOD! She was so fucking tight! Never in my life had I ever been with a woman who had such a vice grip on my dick! EVER! Any tighter and I swore she was going to rip the damned thing off!

Wait, rip. Oh God! Was I still wearing the condom? I prayed that I was because the last thing I needed after the public shame and possible prison time once word of this got out was the guilt of knocking up my own daughter at the ripe young age of sixteen.

My God! How fucked up was I? How fucked up did I have to be to willingly screw my own daughter whom I had raised, cared for, and loved since birth? I had to be a fairly sick person...or pretty damn desperate. I might as well have been a child rapist at that point, seeing as though she was sixteen and I was nearly forty, not to mention we were father and daughter. It was like I had a fucking Oedipus complex!

But, like the masochist I was, all my thoughts flew out the window as my sweet baby girl rotated her hips, pressing herself further into me. I thought I was about to die; the tortuous pleasure rocking through my body as she circled around me at a painfully slow pace. She was dying too; I knew now that she liked it hard and fast, not slow and painfully sweet. Every twist and turn of her hips pulled me in further into her vice grip, making me tense up inside. I knew that one or two more good rotations would send me over the edge.

"Bella." I got out in a hoarse voice.

All I got was a long, drawn out moan as she sharply jerked herself to the side, and I hissed out in pleasure. I could feel my balls coiling up, building up tension for the release.

"Damn it Bella!" I said through my teeth. "What are you doing to me?"

I saw her smile, but not sweetly like I had seen before, but more like a vixen, like a naughty, naughty whore. I knew what was coming next, and I prepared myself for the final turn, the end of the road for my poor boys down below. And as she kept up her tortuous rhythm, I knew I could no longer contain myself.

"SHIT!" I shouted up to the ceiling as I felt myself come. A wave of relief flooded my face as I felt the cum run down my own member and onto the sheets as it ran out of the condom. At least she had the common sense to keep it on.

Coming down off of my high, I noticed Bella had collapsed onto my chest, her body heaving against mine, and we rested for a few moments. I could feel the heat of her breath on my neck, yet when I moved, she let out a moan that got me all hard again. Apparently, she was still on me, and my moan and my ever growing dick were edging her back into the moment.

She sat back up and tried to move her hips, but I grabbed them just in time, showing my control over this relationship. She stopped, looking down at me, obviously hurt. I didn't give her any response but merely lifted her up and then back down on my hard again member. Her eyes dilated before rolling back into her head, her lips emitting the most wonderful noise I had ever heard.

I kept us like that, bouncing her up and down on my dick, watching her breasts bounce like jello along with her as if they had lives of their own. Bella's boobs were exactly the right size, not too perky, and not to fat; they were the perfect balance of a C cup. I reached up to fondle one, deciding to screw consequences at the moment, and rolled a nipple in between my fingers. Her eyes snapped open at that and she demanded more.

"Oh Charlie! Yes! Keep doing that!" she moaned as she threw her head back. "Feels so good!"

I pulled her in deeper, hitting that spot I had discovered the night before, causing her to spasm uncontrollably from above. Her release was messy and hot, her body covered in a sheen of sweat, but I was in no means done with her, not until my high wore off and I was well and drained. I kept throwing her down onto me, my body bucking up to meet her eager, swollen lips.

Eventually, she moved her own fingers down inside herself along with me, circling and pinching her clit. She made herself wild, the combination of my huge member and her skilled fingers were becoming too intense for her to last much longer. Honestly, the sight of me disappearing into her glistening pussy as she worked herself was becoming too much for me to handle as well. I could feel myself tensing up once more and much faster as well. Within a moment, I was within breaking point. It was then when I slowed us down, both on the very apex of pleasure yet not quite there yet. We were both howling for release, but I was going to make her beg. This was her idea after all.

"Charlie-Charlie please!" Bella begged, her body heaving, her hips angrily trying to push down against my steely grip.

"Not yet Bella, not until you beg for it. Not until you are pleading for release." I was able to huff out, being short of breath myself. I guessed the past 24 hours were finally starting to take their toll.

"Please, I am begging you! I need-I need..."

"What do you need Bells? Tell me what you need."

I raised my hips up a slight bit, allowing myself to brush her thigh with my dick. She cried out loudly, her body shaking and thrashing about like a wild woman's.

"Please! I need you to-Daddy I need you to-!" but she couldn't finish her sentence.

"What did you just call me?" I asked, cutting her off. "Did you just call me daddy?"

She whimpered a pathetic little phrase in response, but the word 'daddy' in essence was both disturbing and a turn on. Being the sick, demented soul I was, I knew exactly what I would do to her.

"Call me daddy Bells! Tell your daddy what you want him to do to you!"

"I WANT YOU TO FUCK ME!" she let out, her resolve crumbling. "OH PLEASE! DADDY, PLEASE FUCK ME! FUCK ME NOW!" she screamed so loud that I was afraid that the neighbors would hear.

And with that, I rammed her so hard and so deep that she literally saw stars. I felt her tremble atop of me, her walls clenching down so hard that I failed to suppress my own screams as I came into her. We both rode out our orgasms, one collapsing into the other. We laid there in the bed for a few more moments, our exhausted limbs entangled, just laying inside each other, relishing in the silence.

It was after, when the buzz had died, that I realized the full impact of my actions.

I had repeatedly screwed my sixteen year old daughter (which is illegal by the way) and taken her virginity as if fucking her in the first place wasn't bad enough! And to top it all off, instead of stopping her and sending her away to some sort of mental, sex addicts facility, I slept the night and morning with her and liked it! God I was fucked up!

I literally felt sick to my stomach as I looked at my daughter naked and on top of me as if she were some five cent hooker. I was disgusted in myself about how far I had ruined my own pride and joy. She was my daughter, not some strange woman who I invited into my bed, but now there seemed to be no difference! For God's sakes, she had slept in this bed when she was little and had nightmares! This used to be a safe place, but now it was laced with twisted memories and the sheets were covered in guilt and cum.

I was really going to throw up if I even stayed in the room for another moment. So, pushing Bella up and off of me in a rush, I left the room, grabbing some clothes on the way out. I left Bella on the bed, confused and most likely heart broken, but I couldn't stomach the sight of my handiwork, the sight of my defiled little girl. Running into the kitchen, I pulled the clothes on as fast as I could, not caring if they were on the right way or not, and grabbed a bottle of hooch and the car keys. I had to get away; I needed time to clear my head, and liquor as always a big help, liquor and fast driving. I also figured that I wouldn't be able to go home tonight after work, if I had the courage to even go to work today at all.

Popping the lid open to the bottle as I cruised down the highway at nearly 90 mph, I wondered if Billy had it in his heart to let me crash there for a few nights. At least he'd have some good beer.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:**** All views expressed in this fanfic are not mine; they simply belong to the characters I have created in order to complete them. Please do not be offended, and if you are, I apologize.**

**Also, I would like to apologize for the long wait for this chapter. I was busy trying to make it perfect and I had tons more things to do for school. I'll be able to update faster during the summer, I promise :) So, Please, Enjoy!**

Chapter 3

**Jake POV**

I love sleep. Like, I love sleeping so much that it's ridiculous, especially if sleep includes Edward. I should rephrase; I love sleep with Edward. Any sleep with him is amazing, whether I sleep beside him, across from him, on top of him, inside of him; all of it was perfect. So, I was quite let down when I woke up and discovered that Edward was nowhere to be found, the spot he had previously occupied next to me strangely cold and empty. Running my hand over the sheets, my fingers came across something strange, and I discovered that there was a piece paper laying on the pillow right where his head should've been. I curiously picked up the fancy, cream sheet of paper that obviously did not come from my house, leaning myself up in my groggy, bedraggled state in order to get a clearer view of my lover's very fancy cursive script.

_Jacob, my love,_

_I am sorry that I could not wake up to you this morning, and that I am going to miss that attractive sex-hair of yours, but, unfortunately, something came up. My family and I have gone out on one of our annual hunting trips and I promise I will be back soon! Maybe, if you're lucky, I'll bring you back something extra special!_

_Yours truly,_

_Edward_

Damn his family! They always seemed to interrupt our fun. Still, his words of affection, and slight seduction, made me laugh. I could only guess what this so called "surprise" may entail, but if it involved me dressing up as a deer so we could play 'the hunter and the hunted' again, I might have to draw the line.

Getting up out of bed, I made my way to the bathroom for a quick shower, more to relax my sore muscles than to clean my sweaty body. Sex with Edward was nearly exhausting; after the third go round, he was still eager and ready for fourths while I was panting for air, trying to calm down my enraged penis from exploding. Don't get me wrong, Edward was probably the most loving and generous partner a guy could want, but he could also be physically taxing, with his god-like body and incredible stamina. I had to ask him more than once last night to slow things down for fear that he was going to permanently injure my ass.

Once my body was nice and lax, I got out and pulled on a tee-shirt and some sweats, now ready for a very chill Saturday afternoon. Maybe I would even have the guts to face Bella and talk things out with her. I had tried to act cool at school to make her feel more at ease, but that only seemed to make her more upset. In fact, she seemed to be avoiding me, running away whenever I came near.

Nah, I was probably just thinking she was running because I really didn't want another confrontation. She would be fine in a few weeks, no doubt. After all, she was Bella Swan, one of the most beautiful and sought-after girls in all of Forks High. I had no doubt that there were guys who would die to date her. She'd be over me in no time.

Sighing, trying to convince myself I was right, I walked down the stairs of my small farm house and into the sparse kitchen. Just as I had suspected, my dad had his wheelchair positioned in front of the TV, a beer popped open next to him with his plate of scrambled eggs. A grade-A breakfast right there, but I wasn't surprised. My father did what he wanted and he had earned the right to at his age, no matter what any doctor said. Besides, he had to deal with a gay son now, which was taxing enough on his mental state. I really didn't have any room to criticize him.

I pulled out the half-full carton of milk and poured myself a bowl of cereal. I knew I'd eat more than just one bowl, so I left the milk and cereal out, going back about five times to refill the startlingly emptied bowl. I didn't know why, but I was always hungry and no matter how much I ate, if I had even stuffed myself to the brim, I'd be hungry an hour later. I didn't think I had been truly full in weeks, and that was only because I didn't want dad to go out and have to buy more groceries every two days.

Before I knew it, I had finished the box of Corn Flakes and was about to grab the Cheerio's out of the cabinet, when I heard a knock on the door. Startled, I put back the cereal and looked anxiously down the hallway. No one ever came to visit the Black farm, ever. Well, no one except the Swans.

"I'll get it Jake." my dad said, wheeling his way past me, cutting me off as I tried going down the hall. He seemed to have things handled, so I went back into the kitchen and continued eating cereal. I was on my second bowl when I saw Charlie Swan walk in, his whole demeanor flushed and off kilter. Short version, he looked like a man who had gone to hell and back.

Suddenly, my heart clenched and I had the most horrific thought that he had come here to set me straight or teach me a lesson on what happens when I hurt his daughter. He was the Chief of Police after all; he could do anything to me and get away with it. I just prayed that he didn't lock me up. I don't think that I had it in me to go to prison.

But, all those thoughts were calmed when he fixed me with a bloodshot stare and grunted in my direction, collapsing on the couch. I heard him moan and say something about the room spinning before he began snoring loudly. Obviously, he was drunk, very drunk at that matter. I wondered why he came here though; didn't Bella usually take care of him whenever he went into one of his stupors? I know it's been years since he had turned to the bottle, but still, wouldn't she be his number one? That is, unless, she was in the same state as he was.

That brought on a whole new fear, Bella, alone and possibly drunk, with no one to help her. She could choke on her own vomit or do something stupid. She could fall down the stairs and crack her head open; God knows how clumsy that girl can be. Fearful of her wellbeing, I jumped up from the table, dumping my bowl into the sink as I passed.

I crossed over to the couch where Charlie was lying, not asleep as I once had believed but rather in a hazy daze, watching me intently as I grabbed my jacket from the hooks above him. His look was one of scrutiny and confusion, the latter most likely from the alcohol and the former due to the fact that I was assured that he now knew I was gay. Bella had surely told her father about our break up and more specifically, the reasons behind it. I could tell that Charlie was uncomfortable around me, even in his inebriated state, so I gave him a quick nod hello and left him alone on the couch.

Pulling at my jacket, I slipped on my leather riding boots, grabbed the bike keys, and left without a single goodbye. My father and I had rarely spoken since I came out, and I knew my orientation had strained out relationship. Now, I came and went as I pleased, and my dad rarely ever said a word. If he cared, he never spoke of it, but I highly doubt that he cared what I did now. I was eighteen anyway; even if I wasn't gay, my dad still sees me as an adult and probably, if circumstances were different, would encourage me to move out, get a girl, and get a life of my own. Now he doesn't care about what I do at all, as long as it doesn't involve him.

Shaking out the ideas and the world around me, I mounted my bike and sped away from the Black farm I had known all my life. The whole Rez was practically farmland and desert, and I rarely had the time to explore anywhere else, but where I was going was beyond Rez territory. Where I was headed was the home of a girl I still cared for, whether she wanted me to or not.

**Charlie POV**

I was so wasted by the time I got to Billy's that it was a miracle that I had made it there without incident. It was even more of a miracle that I was able to hoist myself up to the front doors of his farm house and walk inside with little help at all. It had been years since I had gotten this trashed, yet it felt as familiar as if I had just done the same thing last night.

Alcohol used to remind me of Renee, Bella's mother, who had died suddenly and violently in an alcohol infused rage. I used to tell Bella that her mother just had a tragic accident when her car ran off the road and crashed into an oil tanker. I never mentioned to her that her mother's death was an alcohol driven suicide, that she purposely drove her car off the road after one particularly nasty fight between us. I couldn't remember exactly what the fight entailed, but I knew we had both been drinking far too much to be sane, and I knew the fight had ended horridly. I only thanked God that Bella was at a friend's sleepover. She was spared the true horror of the night.

Still, as I made my way to the couch, I was caught up in the horrors of my past, the horrors of my present adding to the nightmares. I thought of Bella, most of all, her face taking priority over my dead wife's. I thought of her innocence, marred and destroyed just like her mother's body. I saw how I destroyed my daughter just as I had destroyed my wife, driving her to take her life. I had wrecked two perfectly good human beings.

Just as I couldn't stand my memories any longer, another face from my life came up and above me to grab a jacket off the hooks. I stared a Jacob, wondering how such a successful boy I had known since birth could possibly be homo. It was honestly quite unnerving and disgusting to think about him now, about his condition. If I wasn't so trashed, I would rough him up a bit for leaving my Bella in pieces only to go hump another abomination like him.

I guess he caught my mood, so he took his coat and made himself scarce, leaving without so much as a word. I heard the roar of an engine outside, and then nothing at all. I let out a sigh of relief and slumped back, glad to be away from that creature who had taken over Jacob Black.

Billy came into the room, tisking me under his breath. He looked tired, haggard even, and I am sure it was because of the boy who had just left. He had placed a lot of hope and promise into his son; I was sure he was just as disappointed as I was.

"So, Charlie, you wanna tell me why your drunk ass is here on my couch at 7:30 in the morning? Or do I have to call your own office to drag your ass back home?" Billy said in his usually dry manner. It almost made me smile again.

"Billy...I feel like shit." I managed to get out.

"Yeah, I can see that. Haven't seen you this drunk since Renee died. What the hell happened man?"

"I-I...Shit, Billy. I fucked up. I fucked up big time."

"How Charlie?" he asked, more of a statement than a question.

I had always been able to talk to Billy, tell him things that I couldn't to others, like how bad my marriage really was under the surface, so what was the problem with telling him the truth? Besides the fact that he could call Social Services on me and have my ass locked up for the rest of my life for abuse and/or rape of a minor. Bella was only sixteen after all. But, I knew I had to tell someone or else I would go mad, and there was no one else I could trust more.

So I told him everything.

**Bella POV**

I sat in the bed for nearly an hour after Charlie left me there. It had grown cold, the warmth of his body gone due to the open air, and was replaced by my stream of tears.

Had Charlie hated me for last night? Was I not good enough? Would he ever look at me again? Would he still love me despite our sins?

I was a girl scarred and lonely, without love to guide her out of the darkness. Charlie was my light after Jake had extinguished himself from my heart, and now even he was leaving my body here in the dark, abandoning me once. But this time, it was worse than when my mom died; this time, we were so much closer than father and daughter. We had shared the ultimate love, one that I felt come from the depths of his soul as he claimed my body for himself, and forever more imprisoning my soul in his grasp.

My mom always used to tell me I was romantic, that I always thought life was a fairytale, and now I saw why. I was literally convincing myself that I was in love with my father, whom I had sex with in a moment of pure lust and hormones. Yet, I had never felt such strong, non-sexual emotions for anyone in my life. At first, I thought it was just my newly discovered sex drive emerging from the heat of the night, but even as I lie here sobbing now, I feel like my heart is being torn into pieces, and that was due to my father and his ownership of my love.

Finally managing to pull myself out of the bed, I walked into the bathroom and started up a shower, but even the piercing cold water was not enough to spark the life back into me. All it did was make my skin pucker and my lips turn blue, which then I knew I had to get out before I risked hypothermia. I pulled on a downy sweater and some sweatpants, even though winter was nearly over, and left my hair in a wet, tangled mess. No one was around to see me, so why should I care about my hair or any of my looks for that matter? I was more comfortable looking like a shattered mess.

I was just wringing out my hair when I heard a knock on the front door. My heart did a little leap, hoping desperately that it was Charlie, returned to say he was sorry for leaving me and swearing he would never leave again. I, being the compassionate daughter, would forgive him and we would make love all over the house for days. The thought of the fantasy alone made me tingle inside.

I flew down the stairs and pulled open the front door, hoping Charlie loved me even though I looked like shit, only to wish I hadn't opened the door at all when I saw Jacob standing under the overhang. My stomach dropped as I took him in, just as gorgeous as ever, and sporting some pretty intense sex hair. I could only imagine the night he and Edward enjoyed. I would've been jealous, but I soon remembered my night with Charlie, and the fact that I got laid as well made me feel a tad bit better.

"Oh." I managed to get out without being totally bitchy. "What are you doing here?"

"Uh...I ah...no reason really. I guess I came to see how you were?" he asked as more a question. He was obviously nervous. Good.

"Well, I'm fine thanks. Why do you care?" I stared him down with cold eyes.

"It's just that, uh, Charlie came over to my house, and he was totally wasted." He couldn't look at me, his eyes roaming around everywhere except my face. "I was just worried that you might've been in trouble..."

He mumbled more things under his breath to cover his ass, but I stopped paying attention.

So, Charlie had gotten trashed and then drove to Billy's house? It would sound completely insane, but it had happened before, and I wondered what had triggered such intense emotion in him. After all, he hadn't done this since my mom died. It couldn't have been me; he told me he loved me about a thousand times last night, and that I felt amazing. Whatever it was was something I couldn't begin to understand. That or Jacob was lying, but he wasn't a liar...usually. The only lie he ever told me was about his preferred sex.

"So, are you saying that my dad got drunk and somehow made it over to your house?"

"Yeah...You didn't know?" he asked, genuinely shocked.

"I heard him leave this morning, but I didn't know he was drunk."

"Well, yeah...so are you okay?"

"Mmhmm. Just peachy."

"What are you going to do about your dad?"

"He'll sober up and find his way home." I said casually, just like I had played everything else. "Until then, just make sure he doesn't puke on anything."

"You're just going to leave him?"

"What can I do Jake? He's a grown man. I can't take care of him forever." I was getting very exasperated with this conversation.

"So now he's my dad's responsibility?" Jake inquired, getting mad.

"Maybe some time away will do him good. Maybe if he is away long enough, he'll want to come back home." I try to say without glaring at him. "Besides, I'm sure that talking to Billy will do him some...good..."

I didn't have time to finish my thoughts because they were beyond horrifying. Charlie was at Billy's right now. He was talking to Billy right now. He could've told him about our night last night. Billy could have him arrested or worse, put in prison! I could feel my heart banging out of my chest and my pupils dilate. I must've looked crazed.

"Bells?" I heard Jake ask concernedly out of the back of my mind.

"What...?" I asked in a daze, not sure if I could even take a breath without collapsing.

"Are you okay? You look...well, you look like you're about to keel over."

And honestly, I did. I felt sick about the fact that Billy could pry that sacred experience out of an inebriated Charlie and use it against him. I had to get to Charlie. I had to make sure Billy didn't know a thing.

"Hey, Jake, I changed my mind. My dad is probably in no condition to drive home and I don't want to inconvenience your dad. Can you drive me down to your house so I can take him home?"

"Sure, Bells, but how are you gonna get home?"

"He drove to police car there, I'm sure. I'll just put him in the back and take him home."

"Well, okay, let's go."

"Alright, just let me go get my license."

He nodded and went to go start up his bike. The purr of the engine reminded me of all the rides we used to go on when we were together, and I almost teared up at the memory. But, I quickly pushed my emotions away and ran up the stairs to grab my tote purse, my license safely tucked inside. Punning back down the stairs, I took a detour through the kitchen. My stomach was rumbling, and I was going to take a snack for the road, but then I got a very good idea.

The butcher block was sitting on the island, completely untouched and clean since I didn't make dinner the night before. Roaming over to it, I ran my fingers over the wood until the tips reached the one handle at the very top. Pulling on it, a large, wickedly sharp piece of stainless steel was freed from the slab of wood with ease, a slicing noise filling the air. I studied the large butcher blade with childlike curiosity before stuffing it carefully in the bottom of my bag.

I heard Jake blow the horn, obviously wondering what was taking me so long, so I gathered up the rest of my things and headed out the door. I smiled at Jake, assuring him that I was alive, and threw my legs over the seat, straddling it like I did to Charlie's waist. I smiled at the thought of him, and pretended that it was him I wrapped my arms around and held close during the long ride to the Rez and not Jake.

I didn't know what Billy knew, but I knew how to shut him up if he learned too much.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

**Charlie POV**

By the time I had finally gotten everything off of my chest and told the entire story of my indecencies, Billy had gone through three beers and was currently working on his fourth. After I had spoken the words "I had sex with Bella", he said he was gonna need something to get him through this one. Even though he was drinking like a fish, he was remarkably sober and scarily of all, he was dead silent. His eyes had taken on age and seemed to be pained in a way I did not understand. Frankly, his lack of words was unsettling me.

"That's it." I let out with a sigh. "Do you think I am a terrible person Billy?"

He shook his head slowly, his long hair falling from his shoulders, and lazily wheeled himself to the fridge to pop another can of beer.

"Billy, come on, please? I need help here! I think I may be losing it..."

I heard him let out a low breath, and then he wheeled himself out of the kitchen to face me, a beer in hand as an offering, as if it would cure me.

"Here. This might help for a bit."

"Thanks." I took it from him without meeting his eyes, taking a long swig from the can. The alcohol burned down the back of my throat, mingling with the vodka that had previously ran the same course, but it made me think clearer. "Just what I need when I'm already trashed."

"Well shit Charlie, what do you want me to tell you? That everything's gonna be okay? That this was all a harmless mistake and I'm sure you'll get over it soon? Sorry, but I can't say that because it wasn't a mistake! You consented to screw your daughter, and not only that, you liked it Charlie! That's some fucked up shit. Some **_illegal _**fucked up shit."

He looked totally pissed off at me, like he was raging mad at me, which I should've expected. I was a creep after all.

"Man, what do you think Bella's gonna say when CPS comes and beats down your door? Do you think she's gonna stick up for the father that practically raped her?"

"Bella was the one who instigated it..." I mumbled quietly, but apparently not quietly enough.

"What'd you say?" Billy asked indignantly.

"I said Bella was the one who advanced on me. She literally jumped on me and spewed some shit about how we were the only ones each other had. I am innocent in all this Billy."

"No you're not man. You still consented; you still rode her out like she was one of your call girls back in the day." Billy stated, chiding me for my ignorance. "You're just as guilty as she is, but you're the one who will be punished for it. You're the one who'll serve the prison time."

"But that's only if anyone finds out. As long as no one finds out about this, then I won't have to go to prison." I stared Billy down, his eyes darkening in disappointment. "Promise me Billy; promise me that you won't tell anyone about this."

"Charlie, I can't-"

"Billy, come on! You are my closest friend! This was all just a big misunderstanding and it will never happen again, I swear! Please, just keep quiet."

It seemed like begging wasn't working on my stony friend, and I was almost out of options to play. There was no way I could survive prison, or the humiliation that came with it. I needed Billy's cooperation now, and I was sure that Bella hadn't had time to tell anyone, so as long as I could get her to stay quiet about it, then we would be in the clear.

"You owe me man, after all your secrets I have kept over the years. If I remember correctly, you pulled a Donny and Marie Osmond on your sister when you were younger...it'd be a shame for that tid bit to get out into the Tribe. Or how about the fact that Jacob's mother was-"

"Alright! Enough!" Billy screamed at me, his face dark and pained with old sadness and shame. I knew I was a dick for blackmailing my closest and oldest friend, but I had no other choice.

"So, do we have an agreement? Will you stay quiet?"

Billy's deepening scowl was moving to say something, but it never came out. He was cut off by the sound of the door opening, and my blood ran cold as I saw Jake in the doorway with Bella standing right beside him.

**Bella POV**

The ride to the Rez was nothing but torture, my mind showing me scenario after scenario of everything that could go wrong if Billy told someone about Charlie and mine's night. I could see Charlie going to prison, being gunned down by an angry mob, exiled in shame, and even falling out of love with me, which was possibly the worst one I saw. All of these thoughts made the extra weight of the knife in my purse so much more tempting. I had taken it just as a desperate precaution, but now, I was seriously considering using it.

When we finally got to Jake's farm, I literally jumped off the bike and ran up to the door. I would've busted in, but the door was locked, and I had to wait for Jake to unlock it for me before I could storm the place. As soon as the key had exited the knob, I opened the door, Jake on my heels, and walked right in on a heated discussion between Billy and Charlie.

My heart went to my throat and Charlie's eyes literally bugged out when he saw me, as if he had been caught doing something he wasn't supposed to, and Billy's face was stony, if not utterly disgusted. I knew by that action that he had spilled the beans, that Billy knew, and that our future was all but shot to hell. My fingers literally itched for the blade, but Jake and Charlie were around to witness, and I did not need to go to prison for killing this man.

We stood for a few good minutes in complete silence, the three of us stuck in a power play while Jake stood in the background, totally confused as to what was going on. I could tell that Billy was trying to read my expressions to see whose side I was on in this situation, but he was having no luck, and Charlie was breaking out into a sweat, waiting for someone to react. Finally, after what felt like forever, Jake broke the silence, and I was extremely grateful.

"I hope we didn't interrupt anything...I just thought that Bella might want to see what was up with her dad, since he was in this...state..., and take him home."

"Yes, well, that's very thoughtful of you Jake, but I'm fine." Charlie said through clenched teeth.

I had spent years with the man, and even though he had a good poker face and a high tolerance for all alcohols, he was clearly drunk. I could see it in the glassiness of his eyes...that and the open beer can in his hand and the empty vodka bottle lying near him.

"You weren't so fine earlier, and you are still in no condition to take yourself home. Bella offered to drive you back in the car." Jake came back, glaring Charlie down for his callousness.

"Alright, I'll go home. Just give me a moment to talk to my friend." he let out an annoyed, taught smile, one that made him look like he was about to murder Jake.

"Actually, Dad, we need to get going. You have to go to work on Monday, and if you want to be sober by then, then we need to get you on bed rest as soon as possible." I said, needing to get Charlie away room this place so we could talk in private.

"We will Bells, just give me a minute." He spoke to me for the first time since last night, but the words came out as more a hiss and that startled me. I wasn't expecting him to be mad at me as well. Maybe it was the alcohol; he never was a nice drunk, but I felt deeper forces at work for this one.

"Fine. I'll start up the car. Just be out in a few minutes, okay?"

I didn't stick around to find out the answer. Instead, I shoved past a very confused Jake and walked out, fighting back hoardes of angry tears. When I got into the car, I let myself go, giant sobs racking my entire body.

I couldn't lose Charlie; I didn't _want_ to lose Charlie, yet I felt like he was already gone.

**Jake POV**

I watched Bella leave the house just as fast as she entered it, and I wondered what Charlie could've done to make her so upset so quickly. He was acting like a dick at the moment, and maybe that was because of the inane amounts of booze he had downed earlier, but that didn't mean he had to give Bella emotional whiplash. She had already had to deal with his drunken ass for years of her young life. When was his selfish behavior ever going to stop?

Still, I just stood there like a fly on the wall, taking in the scene. I heard Bella start up the old engine in that old Honda that Charlie used as his car, and I wondered how Charlie even made it here alive. I guess the bastard was just lucky. I heard him whisper to my dad in a rushed tone, and my dad was responding with equal spite and vigor. In their hushed conversation, I could tell that something had happened after I had left, and it did not please my dad.

Just as soon as it started, the conversation stopped, and Charlie stormed out in a huff, moving remarkably fast for a drunk guy, and slamming the door swiftly behind him. Dad was glowering, spinning his chair around to grab the empty beer cans on the side table. I counted at least five. I heard the car speed away, and my dad and I were left alone.

"What was all that about?" I asked, my curiosity growing. "You and Charlie rarely disagree on anything."

My dad scowled and shook his head. I could tell he was in a sour mood now.

"This wasn't just anything Jake." he said darkly.

"Well then, what was it?"

"It's none of your business Jake. Now butt out."

And with that, the conversation died and he wheeled out of the room, shutting his bedroom door behind him.

There was so much going on that I didn't understand, and so much that didn't make any sense at all. Obviously Charlie and my dad didn't see eye to eye on something, but the way that they stared at Bella, my dad glaring and Charlie nearly scared shitless, made me wonder if Bella knew anything about this at all. Her behavior would say so, but I couldn't be positive.

One thing was for sure: Whatever was going down was huge, and I had a feeling that it wasn't going to go away any time soon.

**Bella POV**

Charlie and I spent the entire car ride in silence, and though I wanted to lecture him about his stupidity in telling Billy about us and then kiss him senseless for being safe and coming home with me, I had to hold it all down, at least until we got home. There were so many things we needed to discuss, though all Charlie seemed to be interested in was sleeping off his hangover. It was quite frustrating. I hoped he was more interested in what I had to say once we were home.

It was nearly evening when I finally pulled into our cracked driveway, and when I heard Charlie shift to wake up, my heart took a leap. When I was parked in the garage, I opened the door to help him out, hoisting him up and wrapping one of his arms around my shoulders for support. It was just like the old days when he did this on a daily basis, but now, the touch of his skin was like electricity. It sent jolts of happiness up my spine, and I wondered if he felt the same at my touch. If he did, I wondered why he repeatedly shoved me away.

Once we were inside, Charlie shoved me away and stumbled over to the kitchen counters, desperately grasping onto any surface he could find, his fingers fumbling at the drawers.

"Damn...where is the God-damned-"

He cut off his speech when he finally found what he was searching for, a long clear bottle labeled Diamond's Vodka. He popped the cork in one clean swoop, even though he was far from coordinated at the moment, and took a long, hard drink of the gasoline-smelling liquid.

I ran over to him and pulled the bottle away from his mouth, the contents spilling down his chin and neck, staining his wrinkled shirt. I dumped it all down the drain, his eyes never leaving the fountain of liquor pouring down the kitchen sink, and I knew he wished he could drown in it.

"Okay, you do **not** need any more of this."

He looked absolutely murderous, and I swear he went to lunge for me, but he failed and stumbled backwards into the cabinets, cursing up a storm as he struggled to catch himself, his speech slurred.

"Why did you do this again? I thought we agreed you would try to stay sober, for my sake." I tried to reason, the raw pain I kept down emerging from my voice.

"There are some things...some things that you...you cannot deal with sober..." he was able to slur out. His hands went to his temples, his face becoming pained again. "Damn headache...can you turn down the lights or something? So Gad-damned bright in here..."

"The lights aren't even on dad." I said blankly, just watching him, feeling my hearts break.

"Well then go away, because it must be you who's causing this..."

He shooed me away with his hands, turning to clutch at the sink, his knuckles turning ghostly white before retching up a storm. He keeled over as his entire body shook, and he stayed over that sink for about ten minutes before his body was done. All the time I was crying, the memories from my past, of the nights right after my mom's death, filled my mind, taking me back to darker places. I felt so helpless and vunerable watching my dad become belittled by his own body, and it took all of my strength for me not to break down.

"Come on," I pulled him gently up off the floor where he had collapsed, "Let's get you cleaned up..."

For once, he actually obeyed and followed me, and I guided him up the stairs, his arms back around my shoulders, though this time there were no sparks. I was too shaken up to let myself feel anything at the moment. It took me a while to drag his body up the flight of stairs, but when we reached the top level, I laid him gently on his bed, careful not to let him jerk around too much.

I went to his drawers and pulled out a pair of pajamas, and then went to the bathroom and wet down a washcloth covered in soap with warm water in order to clean him up. I went back to the bed and was able to coax Charlie to sit up so I could rub his face down gently, and surprisingly he made no complaint, not even a sound. The soap bubbles popped on his face, and I couldn't help but go back to a few years ago when I would do this nightly whenever he'd stumble in at four a.m. in the morning. I was basically his mother, feeding him, bathing him, clothing him. Nothing had changed at all now.

Once his face had been cleaned, I gently pulled up his shirt, discarding the foul smelling thing in the dirty clothes hamper in the closet. Charlie didn't even seem to notice when I started lathering his back in the soapy water, my hands rubbing him in slow circles. I was careful where I put my hands, making sure not to be too forceful or too gentle. No. My hands were the healing hands of the twelve year old daughter he used to have, not the greedy ones that belonged to his sixteen year old vixen.

I would make him better, if it was the last thing that I did.

**Charlie POV**

I had barely realized that Bella had my shirt off, and by the time I did, she was practically sponge cleaning me with a towel. I couldn't feel her hands though; all my senses were numb and I could barely feel my mind working. It took all I could to remember to breathe.

I could sense her hands moving over my back, but the warmth of the soap didn't penetrate my skin. Instead, my mind wandered to the last time I had been in this exact same position, which was nearly three years ago. I had gotten seriously messed up; it was a miracle that I didn't die of alcohol poisoning, but Bella managed to find me, as usual. She had ordered a cab to take us home and spent the entire night cleaning me up and picking up all the shattered pieces of my life. That night, after I had seen the look in her eyes, I swore to myself that I would never again go back to the bottle, for her sake.

Now, as I managed to look at her properly for the first time, I saw that look in her eyes again, and I nearly died. She looked frightened beyond belief, just as she did all those years ago. She didn't even dare to so much as breathe because she had learned not to upset the delicate balance she had created in her all too unstable life. I felt so terrible that I was making her this way, that I was destroying her all over again. The last thing I wanted was to hurt her; however that was all I seemed to know how to do these days.

Suddenly, I felt very sober, as if I had somehow come to my senses. I knew the healing had to begin somewhere, or else it may never come.

"Bella..."

"Shh, Dad, it's okay. You don't have to say anything."

"No, Bella. I'm sorry." I was actually able to manage out.

"Dad, we don't have to talk about this right now." she assured me in a small voice, almost on the verge of tears. "You just need some rest."

I finally got the hint that she didn't want to talk to me about anything anymore, so I quietly went on with her procedures, letting her pick me up and lay me across my bed, tucking me in as if I were a child. When she went to go pull the sheets up to my chest, I stopped her, my hand grasping her arm gently but firmly. She appeared to be startled, but not as much as earlier.

"Bella...I'm so sorry. For all of this...I never meant to hurt you."

She blinked back a few tears before finally forcing out a strained smile. "I know Dad."

"And, you know that I love you Bells. I love you so much."

I was fighting back my own tears by this point, but I didn't care, nor did I care about the signals that I could've been sending her this entire time. The truth was, I loved her, and no one was going to keep me from doing that. She is my daughter; our bond is stronger than any other, and how we expressed it was our business. All I cared about now, was making sure she knew how sorry I was, and how deeply I truly cared, because I never wanted to see her like that ever again.

"I love you too..."

Her voice cracked on the last word, tears flowing down her face, and I didn't know if she was happy or just very, very relieved that I wasn't a total lost cause.

After wiping away her tears, the mascara on her face a tad bit smudged, she leaned down to hug me, her arms wrapping around my neck, the only part of me not covered with blankets. I returned the gesture tentatively, but it felt like things had never changed between us; her embrace was still the most welcoming place I had ever come into.

When she leaned up, she placed a gentle kiss on my brow, one just soft enough to linger around a while, and turned her head to leave. Before she could go, I cupped her face in my hands, turning it to mine, and gently brought my lips to hers. I could see her brown eyes dilate, but then relax until they rolled closed, a sigh escaping from her mouth as it moved with mine.

The kiss was slow at first, a daring thing, both of us unsure, but as we continued, it became more aggressive, more needy and passionate. I traced my tongue across her bottom lip, begging for entrance which she gladly gave me. I could feel the vibrations in her throat as I explored her mouth, seeking out every crevice, savoring her sweet taste. We began to battle for dominance, our mouths fiercely competing with each other to keep up. We grew close, her hands tangled in my hair, her legs wrapped around my waist, rubbing against my crotch, creating a familiar, aching hardness.

She must have sensed it as well, for she pulled away from me, unwilling but apprehensive. We were both confused and a tad bit dazed, but we both knew what we wanted, and damn the consequences. So, I gave her a nod before flipping her over, kissing her the whole time, watching her smile.

Bella and I would be happy together, this I knew, and nothing else mattered.

* * *

**A/N:** Sorry for such the long wait! I was having severe writer's block and was gone on a trip, so I tried to get this one to you as soon as I could! The next chapter will be up soon, I promise!

Anyway, thank you for all to those of you who read my work and thank you for your feedback. It is greatly appreciated and I love hearing your thoughts! Please, keep on sticking with me :)


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

The moment Charlie's lips were on mine, I lost myself. I escaped into my own little world of euphoria and bliss as our mouths moved in perfect, dysfunctional harmony. I was so wired on the emotions of the day: the fear that coursed through my veins, icing them over as I witnessed his fall from grace, the distress of his telling Billy, the hatred I held for Jake, and the joy I felt from being loved once more all mingled within me at the same time, brewing over until I could no longer think logically. The rest of the days be damned; all that mattered was the here and now.

We kissed as if our lives depended on it, the aggression staggering and exhilarating as we fought each other for dominance. His mustache tickled my lips, brushing over my mouth as he plunged his tongue deep within, helping himself to anything he desired, drinking in my taste as he suckled on the tip of my tongue. I giggled a bit, the lightheaded feeling that I had developed spreading over my entire body, clenching in my stomach and sending shivers down my spine. Charlie must've taken that as some sort of sign, because the next thing I knew, he had me flipped over, his body overtop of mine, our chests heaving.

We both were already glistening in sweat, and I could hear his heart beating out of his chest. But, despite our natural bedraggled-ness, he seemed tense, as if he were thinking of leaving once more. Before I let panic take over, I gave him a slight nod, one to tell him it was alright, that we could do this, and he immediately calmed. It was as if, with my one motion, I had forever assuaged his nerves, and thus returned his desire for me.

The kissing picked up with more speed and fervor than before. Charlie immediately broke his way into my mouth with his strong, chapped lips, starting his aggressive game of cat and mouse as our tongues wildly danced about in each other's mouths. I tasted every part, every corner twice, imprinting the taste of aged beer and musk into my mouth forever more. Our limbs tangled up with each other's, and I buried my nose into his neck, inhaling his cologne, the one I has bought him three Christmases ago. I still loved the smell, even though it had aged, and I felt touched that he had still kept it all this time later.

As we broke apart, I could no longer stand the barrier of clothes between us, and neither could he. We made quick work of discarding each other's clothes, practically ripping them off and flinging them onto the floor until we stood bare naked in front of each other, bare skin pressed upon bare skin. I had never felt such enormous tension in my life, so much desire to lose control at the mere feel of his aching need for me now standing erectly between my legs.

I wanted nothing more than for him to take me, and so he did.

* * *

This time when I woke up, Charlie was still asleep beside me, his arm wrapped gently around my ribcage. I could hear his steady breaths and could feel his chest rising and falling with each one wrapped around a steady heartbeat. It was this kind of closeness I had always wanted with someone. I could feel every movement, every twitch of his mustache, and it was a comfort to know that he was not going anywhere this time. I could tell.

Perfectly contented, I was in the mood to do something special, maybe some cooking. Yes, cooking! I was sure that a big breakfast would keep spirits high, and it would help Charlie get something in his system besides obscene amounts of alcohol. So, I shifted to get out of bed, careful to try my best and not wake him up, but alas, I was still just my clumsy old self. I had managed my way out from under Charlie's arm, but lost my balance mid turn and fell off the bed.

I was unharmed, just a little flustered, but the crash was loud enough to rouse the sleeping giant. Charlie groggily got up, squinting his eyes like he was a blind man trying to see the light and stretching out his back and arms, no doubt sore from our night of lovemaking. He looked just as scruffy and helpless as a newborn kitten, sitting up in bed, his hair disheveled and eyes spacey from the want to go back to bed. He really was irresistible.

He looked at me, first confused and then uncertain. He tried to get up, but it was clear he was still a little messed up from last night's drinking binge and dazed from the bright morning. The last thing I needed was for another disaster to strike.

"Hey, lie down, go back to sleep." I said soothingly, guiding him back down into the bed.

"Not tired..." he shook his head, protesting like a child.

"Well, then go get yourself cleaned up, carefully." I added the last part mostly for my own sake, and to remind him not to do anything stupid, not like it stops him if he really wants to do something. "I'm going to make us some breakfast."

He nodded his head, which I planted with a small kiss before I left for the kitchen, smiling all the way. I was practically skipping down the stairs and halls like a schoolgirl who had just been kissed for the first time. In a way, I had been kissed for the first time. No one had shown me more love or deeper a bond than Charlie had, and so I counted him really as my first true kiss, my first true love.

As I was scurrying about the kitchen collecting eggs and bacon and whatever for a breakfast buffet, I heard the shower start upstairs. Should I have taken a shower? I mean, would Charlie cared that I smelled of sweat and sex or would he prefer that I was cleaned and beautified before he would consider taking me for round two, which I had planned on being right after breakfast as my reward for such a good meal? I guess he liked things more clean than dirty, which caused me to go into a nail-biting panic. There was no time for me to shower and fix breakfast...

I scrambled about the island, cracking eggs with more force than was needed, but my nerves were on end, my body moving into a frantic autopilot. The ingredients for pancakes and waffles were flying around my head as my other arm started up the stove top, frying the eggs sunny side up. I had no idea I had even moved the eggs, none the less gotten out the skillet. That was how much of a mess I was; I couldn't remember what I had done five seconds prior.

Charlie's shower was over in what seemed what were milliseconds, but in reality must've more like half an hour because two plates of cooked eggs were nicely scrambled, covered in toast and bacon that I couldn't even remember placing down at the table. A stack of perfectly golden waffles and pancakes were sitting at the table as well, gracefully leaning to one side like the tower of Pisa. It all just sort of appeared in front of me, and I wondered how I could make all of that without even paying attention. One thing I had forgotten was silverware, which I ran to set, placing a napkin, fork, and knife down next to each plate.

Charlie still was not out from his room, and I was wondering what was taking so long. I busied myself squeezing oranges for orange juice just so I could give myself something to calm my nerves. I had already set out glasses of milk and brewed Charlie's Folgers coffee with extra cream, but I just couldn't stop myself. What if he wanted the extra vitamins today and I couldn't give him any? I would be a terrible person to deprive him of those vital nutrients.

I pulled tow more glasses down from the sparse cabinet, and slowly poured the juice in, watching the pulpy liquid pool down into the bottom, the juices splashing everywhere, and then fill up the glass to the brim. I had to stop after that; the sexual tension way too high, and it was obvious what was consuming my every thought. I grabbed the glass with angry hands, disgusted with myself, when I stopped short as I looked up, nearly dropping the glass in shock as I saw Charlie hovering in the doorway.

He was just standing there, hair still wet and hanging in his face, water dripping down his jaw line, catching in his mustache. He didn't look like his normal self, his usual police uniform replaced with an old pair of blue jeans and an untucked red flannel shirt buttoned up to the very top. He looked just like all the other men in Forks now, but he wore the rugged-man look better than any other man in town. Most of all, he wore the best rugged-man expression, his eyes dark and stormy, looking somewhere far away, his posture turned inward to keep himself out of harm's way, though he looked more slouched as he leaned up against the old blue walls of the kitchen. If I didn't know any better, I'd say something was troubling him.

"Sorry, I was just getting some orange juice..." I blushed, somehow embarrassed of being startled, and I pushed past the doorway, crossing his path to the table, but I did not sit down. "But, um, breakfast is served."

I nodded sheepishly to the feast I had blindly created, but all he did was glance over at it, his eyes clouded over with something unknown. I swallowed back my fears, determined to end the silence.

"I made all your favorites: eggs, waffles, toast, even some bacon, even though I know you shouldn't have bacon because of your blood pressure and all, but I'm sure you'll live if you have it just this once. And, I mean, it's not like you have bacon all the time; this is a onetime thing, and you haven't cheated yet, and no one will know, and-"

"Bella."

My name was the only word I heard, but I was grateful for the interruption. I wouldn't have stopped otherwise, and God knows what else I would've said. That was the most I have talked in probably my entire life, yet I couldn't stop myself from saying more. The gears in my mind were moving at a million miles per hour and had no intention of stopping anytime soon less Charlie stopped acting so sketchy. I think it was because I was afraid he was going to leave again. I didn't know if I could handle that kind of emotional turmoil again.

"Yes?" I asked, my voice small and restricted so I wouldn't break the word dam again.

"We need to talk..."

Those were the only words he needed to say to sink my heart like a rock, its carcass plummeting down into the deep abyss of my chest.

"Can we at least talk over breakfast?" I asked weakly, motioning to the bounty of food that lay untouched. Right now, I needed that for comfort.

He nodded, taking his place across from me, slowly eating his eggs away until there were none left. He worked his way around the plate, clearing it, and even taking seconds, before I had finished my waffles. It was silent for a long time, the sounds of scraping forks and chewing mouths the only things filling the air. I thought I was about to die of anticipation. Finally, Charlie laid his fork down on his cleared plate and pushed it aside, clearing his throat as he did so. I wasn't dumb. That was code for he was ready to talk. So, setting aside my barely touched plate, I waited patiently for the end to begin.

* * *

**A/N:** Yeah, I know, another cliffhanger ending...I must really suck right? Well, this chapter really was supposed to be longer, but I figured the "talk part" was better suited for the next chapter, which will include some more Jake drama, oh la la!

I know that it's been a long time, like a month, since the last update, and I know I keep saying that I will update frequently, but I've been slipping up, and I'm sorry for keeping you all waiting. I know that you guys have been waiting a while for this and I thank you for sticking the wait out :) I am grateful for every single person who reads this story, because it means that there are people out there who actually like my work, and it means the world to me that I am able to entertain such an amazing group of people.

Thank you again, and I will try my best to update as soon as I can!


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: ****So, I've spent a while away from this story due to school and work related reasons, and looking over it, the story seems to have too much going on. I re-did this chapter because the way it was before didn't fit the layout that I wanted it in originally. The Jacob-Bella relationship wasn't going where I wanted it before, so I reworked the Billy-Jacob fight to be more relevant to this newer story. I promise that it is no less dramatic; it's just not as freakishly weird or Bella-Jacob incestuous. Unfortunately, this also means it is much longer. Sorry, but you take some, you lose some right?**

**I also want to take the time to thank my readers who have still stuck by me even though I have been silent. Every day I get notfications that someone has followed or commented on the story, and I feel so lucky to get those even though I haven't been giving you guys the attention you deserve. I suck at responding to comments, and I am sorry. Just know that I love you guys, and really appreciate every one of you!**

**Again, I'm sorry for the absence and I promise that Chapter 7 is coming soon because I am half way done with it already. This is kind of the slow part, but if this goes according to the new plan, things will heat up quite quickly. **

**Please, enjoy this modified chapter!**

Chapter 6

**Jake POV**

"Jake, we need to talk."

Those words cut through my bones like they were butter, setting deep into my chest, making it hard to breathe. I had always dreaded these conversations before I had come out to my dad, and I had a feeling that now that I was out in the open, things would get a lot worse. It's not like I wanted him to totally embrace me, or even accept me. I just wanted him to understand, not give me the cold shoulder. I could only wonder what this was about.

"Sure..."

"Sit down."

I sat myself at the oak table in the middle of the kitchen, avoiding making eye contact with my father who was seated right across from me.

He had called me down from my room at five a.m., where I was asleep, waking me up only to have me sitting around for nearly three hours while he went out. I didn't know what he was doing, or why he insisted I stay awake while he left at such an obscene hour, all I knew was that when I came back, he smelled of beer and looked to be in a foul mood. Even now, his voice was short and clipped, not nearly as welcoming as it was merely one month ago, when I was the prodigal son. Now I was the out casted queer.

"Jacob, there is something I have to tell you, and you may not like it..."

_Oh,_ I thought, _here we go._

**Charlie POV**

"Bella, we need to talk about what just happened." I said through a solemn tone.

I was trying my best to be sober, to be calm and composed even though my emotions and thoughts were raging inside me like a tidal wave, and all I wanted to do was reach across the table and shove my tongue down my daughter's throat. No, I had to be the adult here. I had to be the one who had some common sense. We desperately needed to work things out before they got out of hand.

She nodded her head, though she would not look at me. I supposed she was waiting for me to start. I hated having to ruin such a lovely breakfast with talk of something that was sure to ruin her day, but it had to be done.

"Bells, I was pretty fucked up last night. I didn't know what was going on; I wasn't in my right mind...I did some things that I probably shouldn't have..."

I didn't know what I was doing really, other than rambling. I also had no idea where I was going with this, other than that I knew how it had to end. Bella was pretty fragile right now, so I had to make sure I wasn't going to say anything stupid to set her off, which was pretty hard seeing as though the room was still spinning thanks to my little excursion last night.

"Look," I sighed with a deep, cautious breath, "What I am trying to get at is, whatever had been happening between us, or has happened, needs to stop. Now."

There. I had gotten it out in the open. Now all I had to do now was damage control. That and shove any provocative thoughts of Bella pouncing at me from across the table out of my mind. Hopefully...

Surprisingly, she didn't even cry, not a tear. Not even a crack in her voice as she gave her one word response.

'Why?"

That was all she said, but it spun me though a loop. My head was pounding because I actually had to think of a logical response to that question. I had already used up a lot of my failing brain power to think up of ways to comfort Bella while she was screaming at me, crying and sobbing at the news like she had last time. Now, in my hung over state, I didn't think I could think of something that didn't sound like bullshit, partially because, in my darkest mind of minds, I honestly didn't know why I wanted to stop this.

I honestly wanted Bella. Like, I desired her,_ craved_ her body like I craved hooch. My hormones and sex drive were all on board for fucking her one more time, but my heart and logical, moral mind told me to back the fuck off. Who wants to screw their daughter? Honestly! I was one fucked up individual.

"Because, well, Bella...because you know that this is wrong!"

It was the best I had, even though I knew that would never fly with her.

"Bullshit."

"Excuse me?" I reared back, completely shocked by her language.

"Tell me that you didn't feel something when you were with me. Tell me that you felt nothing, that I didn't mean anything to you, and maybe I will believe your excuses."

She stared me down with fiercely attractive dark eyes, a sight that was a lot to take in on my usually mild-mannered daughter, though I had to admit, it was a major turn on to see her so fired up, not that it helped my cause any. If anything, she was drawing me back into her, the one thing I was trying to avoid. As much as I wanted to affirm her statement, I couldn't. She _had_ meant something to me that night, and I couldn't just ignore how I felt. My unattended sex drive was killing me, and the connection I formed with Bella was beyond anything I had ever experienced in my life, even surpassing her mother. Honestly, it scared the shit out of me.

"Bella...I...I..."

"You can't, can you?" she pressed me, and when I gave no reply, she exploded. "Then why are you shoving this away? I want you; you want me, plain and simple. Why can't we just let it happen?"

"Because I am your father Bella! And you are my daughter!" I screamed in her face, trying to make her understand. "Do you have any idea how sick this all is? How twisted we are for even talking about it? I could get arrested; you could get sent away to a foster home in Seattle! Do you really want that to happen?"

"Who says we have to tell anyone? No one will know as long as we keep quiet. It could be our little secret..." she asked as naively as a child, though I knew enough by now to know that she was far from innocent.

"People find things out Bella. People slip up..."

Why the fuck was I considering this, talking about it was if we were working out kinks to a problem than ending an incestuous, illegal relationship? I needed to end it before things got out of hand, but I just couldn't bring myself to. I was too caught up in her and her newfound need to argue, to take control. I was really into it...they way her stormy chocolate eyes darkened; I could drown in them...

"No." I stated finally. "I won't do it."

I turned away from her, clearing away my dishes and busying myself with some more coffee. I didn't hear a sound from her until she sighed, a low, aggravated breath filling the air.

"You won't or you can't?" she asked me, a slight edge to her voice that sent shivers up my spine.

When I looked up to face her, I noticed that something had changed in her, a sexy confidence brimming throughout her entire being, drawing me in like a bee to honey. Did she always have that much cleavage showing? Were her smiles always that alluring, that mischievous? All of it was intoxicating, and suddenly, I lost my foothold on reality. I forgot what I was doing, where I was. She had broken down all my resolves and all my inhibitions disappeared instantaneously. All that filled my mind was Bella, and the emotions I had kept at bay came rushing back, overpowering my senses, my cock driving me onwards instead of my brain.

"Shit." I muttered under my breath, my last word before throwing myself across the table and into Bella.

That girl was going to be the end of me.

**Jake POV**

I didn't know where I was going, but obviously my subconscious mind was way ahead of my raging emotional one, because as soon as the car stopped, I got out facing a three story, white-walled mansion buried deep into the woods. I had somehow gotten myself to the Cullen's house.

As if I were expected, Edward came down from the second story balcony to greet me, wrapping me up in a tender embrace. I breathed him all in, inhaling his musky, masculine scent, memorizing the rapid rise and fall of his chest, as if he were out of breath. And, as he let go, he did look as if he had run a marathon.

Sweat gleamed over his shirtless, perfect abs and wet his hair down so that it clung to his strong jaw line. His chiseled muscles protruded outwards as if they had been stretched and strained, and his sculpted chest rose and fell with each deep drawl of air. He looked like a winded god. And, my God, how I just wanted to ravage that beautiful body repeatedly and repeatedly on end. I got hard just thinking about it.

"Love, what brings you by my humble abode?" he asked in his silky tenor vibrato.

Unfortunately, even his glorious voice was not enough to drive away the pain of the day. It came back, full force, the fight with my father hitting me over the head, driving away all prior happy thoughts. I visibly tensed, and immediately Edward took notice.

"Oh, love, what's wrong?"

Worry lined his voice, his golden brown eyes filled with concern. At least there was one person who actually gave a damn about me. And then, the dam broke, letting loose all the emotions I had so forcefully shoved aside the entire ride here. I collapsed into Edward's arms, letting him hold me as rage coursed through my body, expelling itself through my tears, only to be replaced by fresh hurt and betrayal. The one person I was supposed to trust the most in the world had hurt me beyond anything I could've ever imagined.

The truth hadn't really resonated with me yet, though I was sure that was more of a blessing than a hindrance. I didn't want to know what I was. I didn't want to know. I was better off not knowing.

The pain was like a thousand needles being poked into my eyes, and it literally incapacitated me. I was completely useless. I was a useless lump of clay weeping on the ground over the lie that was his life. I was an atrocity.

"Hush love, hush…" Edward cooed gently into my ear as he cradled me. "Let me take you inside, where it's warm. Perhaps it will make you feel better."

And just like that I was being led into the Cullen house by the arm, like a two year old stray that had been lost in the woods. I barely had time to get a grip on my surroundings other than the numerous glass walls before I found myself in the one place I had always fantasized about: Edward's room.

It was just as I had pictured it only much, much bigger in scale and filled with CDs and 8-tracks. Whole bookcases and tables of the things lined the walls, and the opposite wall created entirely out of glass, just like all the other rooms. There was a huge king-sized bed in the corner and in the center of the room was a large, plush black carpet covered in pillows and a duvet. It seemed out of place in such a messy, musically cluttered room, but seemed to beckon me in. This was almost enough to distract me from my woes.

Almost.

"Do you like it?"

I heard the voice float by my ear from someplace close, but it seemed so far away. As soon as I turned around, Edward was there, his face inches from mine, his cinnamon scented breath tickling my nose. I automatically tensed, yet it was a good tense, the kind that sent my sex drive blazing. He was as intoxicating as ever, yet I would not let myself give in. Not now.

"Yes…" I breathed in slowly, my eyes rolling back into my head as I lost myself in his wonderful scent.

"See, I told you the inside would make you feel better love. You look better already…" his voice was husky now, sending ripples down my body, making me feel alive for once.

"No, love," I replied, calling him by his favorite pet name, my voice coated in desire, "that's all you."

I heard something like a growl escape his mouth, but that was only more of a turn on. I had promised myself that I would not indulge, yet there I was, melting at his voice, his touch. My inhibitions were taking over, and for now, I honestly didn't care.

I plummeted Edward's mouth just as soon as the sound left his throat, delving in deep for a passionate embrace. Thankfully, the kiss was reciprocated, Edward responding with just as great of fervor. I wound my hands through his strawberry locks while his hands made quick work of my shirt, discarding the unneeded fabric on the floor. We were entwined, our bodies rolling across the floor as we wrestled to see who would be on top, our mouths never once leaving one another's. It was as if our tongues were tightly locked in a war in which only one could win, and we both knew who the winner was.

It was only seconds before I completely surrendered myself, and the remainder of my clothes, to Edward.

Screw my father; screw my life. _This_ was worth living for.

...

I never fell asleep afterwards. I just let Edward pretend I was, and then when he nodded off, I slowly got up from the carpet, making sure not to wake him up. As I roamed his room, I got a good glimpse of all our carnage, of what our aggressive love-making had created. The tables were all overturned and the duvet now had a sizable rip in the satin, and we did happen to break a few of Edward's precious 8-tracks. All of that, however, was replaceable. My innocence, however, was not.

The sun was just setting over the horizon. It had been nearly twelve hours since I had found out who I was. What I was. Where I came from. I honestly wished that I hadn't. I couldn't take back what I had learned, nor could I just go in and erase my memory like some shitty sci-fi movie. I was stuck in this never ending purgatory, this hell, this never ending circle of self-hatred. And it had only just begun.

I watched the sun set in the west, its colors dying as they stretched their deep orange and red arms across the sky, fighting off the darkness of night. According the lore of the Elders, the sun was the symbol of rebirth and new beginnings. It died every night only to rise anew from the ashes of day, completely the same, yet completely different. The sun could be whatever it chose to be, born again and again from fire, and the night could never stop it rising once more. I wish I could be the sun, to be extinguished by darkness and then reborn as something pure, all the evil purged from me as I burned alive. I had too much evil in me to count.

I was caught up in the thoughts of life and death, enraptured by its complexity, and nearly missed the ghost lips pecking a path up my neck. Ghost fingers brushed over my wrists, arms, shoulders, then down my back to settle at my hips before pulling me into a backwards embrace. The closeness was not so much as a comfort as it was an annoyance; all I wanted to do was be left alone, But, I did not want to push away my only companion left in this world.

"Love, please tell me what has you so upset. I hate seeing you so distressed…"

"It's…it's my dad. We had a pretty big fight and now…"

I cut off, not knowing how to phrase the next bit because I didn't even know what I was going to do myself. I didn't even know that I was planning on telling anything to Edward, yet there I was, the truth spewing from my lips without permission. I was so lost, both emotionally and spiritually, that I didn't even know who I truly was anymore, none the less what I was going to do with my life.

"And now what?" Edwards prompted, though not to be a nuisance, but more to help me come back to the land of the living.

"And now…I don't think I can go back face him, not after what he told me."

"It's alright love. Things happen; we all know that. I'm sure that everything between you two will work out and-"

"Edward, you don't understand. I don't think I can face him_, ever_."

I said the last word with so much intensity that even he sensed that something deeper than just family resentment was going on. I only wished that was it. Of course, being me, I was landed with something a hundred times worse.

"Love, what's happened? What did he say to you?"

There was panic in his voice now, and I couldn't blame him. He lived a posh life with a giant family that loved him in a freaking mansion. He never had to deal with poverty, fights, secrets, any of this, even if he was adopted. He had no idea how fucked up 'normal' people's lives were. If I told him, it would devastate him. If I didn't tell him, he would be hurt that I couldn't trust him. Either way, I was going to break his fragile heart.

"Edward, if I tell you, you have to promise me that you won't tell anyone, not ever."

I was gravely serious, though I knew I could trust him to keep a secret. Trust him to still love me after I told him, now that I could not say.

"I promise." He swore, crossing his heart as if to signify his sincerity, though I supposed he thought it was more of a cute effect. I was not amused. Maybe on another day I would've been, but not today.

I nodded and looked back out the window, thinking very carefully of how to explain my unique, and vile, situation. Then, after nearly a minute of planning, I decided to screw everything and stop pretending like this wasn't real. There was no use trying to dance around it, trying to ignore it as my father had for all those years.

I might as well start at the beginning.

**Bella POV**

I knew playing the tough girl act would pay off. All I had to do was stand my ground for long enough and I had melted Charlie into putty. It was all too easy, and I guess some of it wasn't really and act. I wasn't my normal, quiet self, but I was also so fed up with all this emotional bullshit! I was so tired of being pushed around, and now that I had stood up for myself, it was a power that I never wanted to let go.

I barely had time to celebrate my victory before Charlie had leaped up from his seat and pulled me up with him, grabbing my face in his hands before smothering my lips in a fierce kiss. I climbed over the table, shoving plates down to the floor, covering myself in syrupy waffles, to get closer to him, kneeling down on the table before falling down in his lap, straddling his crotch. I ground down hard into him as I went in deeper, plunging my tongue into his mouth. A deep growl echoed in his throat, reverberating in my own, sending shivers down my spine.

Charlie's fingers raked through my hair, grabbing fistfuls of it as he tilted my jaw to allow himself deeper access. I relished the feeling of his tongue scouring its way through my mouth, darting in between every crevice. We were battling as always, our bodies leaping into each other's as we embraced.

I barely had time to breathe before we were up again, Charlie leading me into the actual kitchen, pinning me up against the countertops. My chest was heaving as he sucked and bit his way down the soft flesh of my neck, bruising the areas in which he had claimed as his own. He stopped at my collarbone, his fingers replacing his lips as he slowly pulled my shirt down to my waist, his fingers ghosting over my pale, naked flesh. I had seen no need for a bra, so my top was completely exposed to him.

His lips picked up where they left off, tracing their way down my chest until he reached the hills of my breasts. His lips grazed over my left nipple, his breath erecting it into a pert bead, and I could've sworn I heard him laugh before he took the bead into his mouth, rapidly suckling on it.

I moaned deeply, my fingers threading themselves into his hair as I kept his mouth's attention in place, enjoying the intense sensations growing within me. His fingers, however, were ever impatient, roving their way down my torso and to my hips, where they gently tugged down on my shorts and all the other fabric that separated my bare sex from his grasp. His graceful digits ghosted over my folds, running them over the very edges, sending shivers of anticipation, and a desperate need, down my spine. I noticeable whimpered, my body shaking, and I collapsed into my father as he plunged himself into me.

I was screaming as he thrusted his fingers in deeper, harder, and when his pace was no longer quick enough for me, I started to throw myself onto him, curling my body into his expert hands. I lost it when he inserted his thumb, the thick digit rubbing agonizingly intense circles around my swollen clit. I was crying, my nails digging into his shoulders as he finger fucked me into oblivion, my entire being shuddering as I released onto his hand.

I could only see stars in my eyes; my body was his for the taking. I watched him as he lapped my juices off of his fingers, taking each one in at a time, as if trying to make the white liquid last a lifetime. He made quick work of his clothes, practically ripping them all off his body in one fell swoop, exposing himself in all his glory to my ravenous eyes.

I drank him in, ogling all I could take, my gaze roaming over the deliciously ripped muscles in his calves, thighs, ass, until my vision reached the spot in between those thick, sweaty thighs, discovering yet another large, gleaming muscle standing erect, pressed up against his body. I licked my lips with anticipation, wanting nothing more than to feel that massive length inside me once again. He stepped closer into me, his legs parting my own quivering pair, until I could feel the surging, pulsing muscle right outside my folds, reaching out for my warm embrace.

"Please...please Charlie..." I panted, lurching myself forward until my lips were pressed up to his ear. "Don't tease"

That was all I had to say.

In the next moment, he slammed up into me, crashing me back into the countertops as he pushed his way deep into my hilt, burying himself inside me. He felt better than before, his bare, thick meat stretched me to my limits, my insides expanding just to squeeze him all in, but he was worth it. I fit him like a snug, well worn glove, every part of me sucking onto his naked, unadulterated flesh, refusing to relinquish it. Now that I had felt is raw, powerful force, I never wanted it to end.

"Bella!" he hissed though his teeth. "You are so fucking tight!"

As if to torment, I twisted my hips in response. His was greater, a mighty roar escaping his throat as he picked me up, only to slam my ass down harder on his cock, deeper than I thought possible. He just kept on picking me up and dropping me back down, the banging on the cabinets growing louder by the second as he picked up the pace. My breasts bounced in the air; our bodies were gleaming with sweat as we panted to keep up with the increasing pace of our fucking.

I arched my back, thrusting myself forward as he craned his neck down and assaulted my breasts once more, furiously tweaking and sucking on my nipples. I was moaning like no tomorrow, and then screaming as he leaned over me on the counter, finding my g-spot in his brutal thrusts.

"Fuck yes! Fuck, right there!" I cried as he hit my g-spot repeatedly, tears of pleasure brimming in my eyes.

I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him in so close that I could feel his balls slapping against my skin, the sound joining the creaking of the wood and the desperate pleas of his name, which I cried, begging for my release which was so close. I was on the edge of ecstasy.

"Charlie! Oh, fuck Charlie! I am so close!"

"Call me Daddy baby!" he screamed at me, more of an order than anything else. "Beg your Daddy for release! Beg him to let you cum all over this table!"

He had slowed down, his thrusts becoming long and painfully deep and drawn out. I was writhing under his body, my body heaving, my hips bucking up, craving his sweet, swollen cock that I could see was glistening in my juices hovering just over my entrance before slowly entering again. It was as if he was forcing me to watch him destroy me, wanting to break me down with his dick. So far, his plan was working. I had to give in to him.

"Please Daddy!" I screamed, yet it did not seem to satisfy him.

"Please what?" he shouted, moving slower than ever, causing me to scream in protest, tears rolling down my eyes.

"Please fuck me Daddy! Fuck! Just, please, let me come! FUCK ME!" I screamed incoherently.

He seemed to be pleased with my performance, because as soon as the words left my mouth, he was pummeling me just as hard as ever, fast fucking me until the room was spinning and I saw stars. The heat in my core was building up too fast for me to combat, all the dams breaking, and I felt my body un-tense as I came, the warm cum flooding my body. I fell exhausted onto the table, and with one more thrust, Charlie exploded inside of me, his hot seed mixing with mine as I felt him fill me to the brim. When he withdrew, I saw his cock dripping with the white, ropy liquid, and I felt it run down my legs and onto the table. Damn...he shot a heavy load!

He collapsed on top of me, his chest heaving and glistening in sheen of fresh sweat, only to roll off the table and onto the floor in the next minute. I lay alone, eagle spread and leaking, on the table, yet I had never felt more a part of someone, so close to another human being ever. Even though the moment was perfect, and I honestly had no intentions of ruining it, I had to know one thing. I had to know this could be a forever, not a once than never, thing. I had to know how he felt.

"So, where does this leave us now?" I asked so quietly hat I was afraid that he couldn't hear me. I could've sworn I could still hear the cabinets shaking myself.

"Well, first things first we better find you a cover story for all those bruises."

At first, I was confused by Charlie's response, until I followed his fingers to where he was pointing. Apparently, in the heat of the moment, he had placed some rather nasty finger print marks on my thighs and wrists, the spots he had once held me down now turning blue and purple. Go figure. Leave it to me to get hurt making love. I would've been upset, even afraid that Charlie may use this as an excuse never to touch me again, but everything changed as I saw his expression.

He was laughing.

I knew that in that moment, our entire dynamic had changed. He wasn't using my bruises as an excuse to stay away from me; he was trying to help me hide them. He wasn't afraid of hurting me; he was trying to think of a logical explanation to pass them off as normal...for this time and all the other times to come. At that, I couldn't help but smile as well.

This was going to be one hell of a ride. Literally.

**Jake POV**

As soon as I had made up my mind, the fight came flooding back to me at full force, dragging me back into the darkness. I was back at the cursed kitchen table in that goddamn house, and just the memory wanted to make me sick. I never wanted to see that place again, but there I was. In hell.

_"What's this about?" I asked rather stupidly._

_"Jake, I need to talk to you about Bella." he sighed, the words escaping his mouth like a lead balloon._

_However, this struck a chord inside me, my curiosity piquing. We had never spoken of Bella since the break-up; it was a strictly forbidden subject of conversation, especially now that I had a boyfriend. I knew that he was upset about my choices; he loved Bella dearly, so I was curious as to why she would come up now in such an odd situation._

_"Where's this coming from dad?" I asked again, though a realization dawned on me just as the words were spoken. "Wait, this is about what happened with Charlie, isn't it?"_

_My father grimaced at the sound of Charlie's name, his eyes becoming dark and narrow slits, though he managed to give a shrew nod of confirmation._

_"Charlie...though he had some of his facts wrong, reminded me of things in my past, things that I am not particularly proud of, mistakes that I can never take back."_

_"And let me guess, I am one of them?" I bit back, turning the conversation southwards. This was not what I wanted to hear._

_My father's face darkened even more so, and I swore that if he could stand, he would be towering over me, beating me down for my blatant disrespect. _

_"No, you're not, despite what your shitty little mind thinks. Now, if I were you, I'd shut up and listen to what this l man has to say lest you want your ass out on the streets." _

_That statement resonated through my entire body, cutting me straight down to the bone. I suddenly felt small, worthless, and extremely hurt. I was only baiting my father for an argument before; I didn't expect him to actually bite back, especially with such force. However, despite the blow, I was slightly relieved to know that he didn't think I was a mistake. At least I was still worth something to him._

_"Now, you know your mother and I kept you away from my side of the family for a reason, right?"_

_"Yeah, you said they were trouble, right?" this was an odd conversation to say the least, especially since he brought up my mother. "Mom said she didn't want me to hang around them because they were bad influences or something like that."_

_"Well, that much is true; my family was trouble, but the trouble with the family wasn't them, it was me."_

_"What?" I asked, wondering if he had been drinking a little too much. Now he just wasn't making sense. _

_"I did some things in my past that my family could never live down. I embarrassed them, so I just distanced myself from them, let them forget instead of forgive. I knew they never could...not after that..."_

_"Well, what did you do?" I asked, a little bit more intensely._

_"Did I ever tell you about our family tree?" he asked out of the blue._

_"Dad? That's not what I asked..." I was exacerbated now. I was almost sure he was drunk._

_"Just listen Jake." He snapped viciously again, silencing me immediately. "Our family tree is very, very complicated..."_

_I rolled my eyes, not wanting to be here, wishing he would just let me go, but I supposed I had no choice. I was the one who wanted him to talk to me again after all. _

_"My father had four kids, my two sisters, Cara and Naomi, and my brother Elias. Elias died during the war, shrapnel to the heart in '68, died instantly. Oldest child. Practically killed my mother. I was the youngest, born just before he died; did you know that? Eighteen years between me and my brother. My, how time flies...but anyway, there were four of us. And we all had families, minus Elias, which I guess was a good thing. Cara, younger sister, married some car dealer down on the south side of the Rez, had three kids of her own. All of them are just fine last I heard, law school and medical school I think. And Naomi, well she got knocked up by some white man when she was sixteen and my parents disowned her. She kept in touch, had kids who both got married at young ages like her, kids of their own and all. The usual..."_

_"Dad, this is great and all, learning about the family, but why are you telling me this? What does this have to do with what you did?_

_"What I did, son, I did without knowing what I was doing, which I guess makes it all the worse."_

_"Well, I'm sorry I guess, but I can't help you or say anything until you tell me." I tried to coax it out of him, but was having trouble succeeding._

_"Naomi had two daughters with her husband, if you can call him that, before he took off. And they grew up out of Forks; she moved after they got hitched, but soon enough, one returned with her boyfriend, so very young, not even twenty yet, planning on getting married and all. It was quite sweet, had she not been completely unhappy."_

_"And you could tell this how?" I asked, choosing to humor his tales if it got me closer to what I really wanted to hear._

_"It was clear on her face, the frown that seemed to be permanently plastered on. She hated the fog and rain. She was a sunshine girl; it was written all over her skin. She was doomed to die in this hell hole." he was glaring at the table in concentration, his brow furrowed as to remember past events. _

_"So, you did something?" I asked, helping him along. _

_"Oh, yes, I helped in the one way I shouldn't have." _

_I sat back, silent, waiting for him to lower the boom. It took him a while, but he finally spoke once more._

_"It was a dark night, and by this time we had already become close friends, unaware of each other's identities. She had called me, asked to take a walk around the town, and she told me that she wanted to leave, that she couldn't marry her fiancé. I asked her why and she said that she was miserable here, missed her home, that there was almost no point left in staying. And I asked her why, if she was so homesick, then it would be an almost, and she said it was because of me. And I said 'why on Earth would I be worth it'. And she said 'Billy,' I was going by that since she had only seen me in my mechanic suit, first name sewn into the label, and I had never given up my last, 'you are the only one in this God-forsaken place that can make me laugh.'"_

_My father laid back in his chair, his hands running over his face. _

_"Needless to say what happened next. We didn't even make it to the car before we were half naked. I'll spare you the details, but I never heard from her in the days that followed. She was gone when I woke up and the next thing I get from her is a wedding invitation, first and last name on the invite, three months after that night. Of course, I go, and there I see my entire family, all dressed to the nine's, and on the announcements I see her name, especially her last name, Black. I was so shocked, so disgusted that I tried to book it, run the hell out of there before either my parents or she caught up to me. But, I ended up running into Naomi, who ended up telling Cara, and before long I was trapped. _

_I stayed and talked and ate, and I thought I was in the clear until right before the wedding was over, she came up to me, husband in tow, looking like nothing was wrong, yet everything was a the same time. She introduced me to him, and vice versa, and we made small talk, but I couldn't help but notice something about her. She looked fuller, especially around the belly, and when she caught me staring, she told me she and her husband were expecting a baby. She was three months pregnant, hence the rushed wedding. There couldn't be the scandal you know. My parents, and especially Naomi, would never have it._

_I left right after that, excusing myself, not even saying goodbye. I was too terrified at the look in her eyes, the feigned glee and real terror that the baby very possibly might not be her husband's. It could've very easily been mine. They didn't have paternity tests back in those days, and if they did, it was a rare commodity, so for six more months I heard nothing, silently praying and pleading with God, until a birth announcement came. She had had a healthy baby girl, and it was most definitely his. I was safe, but I never heard from her again. I met your mother a few months later, fell in love and had you, as if she had never existed, as if the baby scandal hadn't even happened."_

_"Wow...I-I don't know what to say..." I stumbled, trying to process the information. "Where is she now? Could you, I don't know, try to talk to her or-"_

_"She's dead Jake. Died in a car crash a while back."_

_"So, what do you want me to do?" I asked, growing ever more confused. "Why did you tell me this?"_

_"Did you notice Jake, that I didn't use any names?" he asked softly._

_"Dad. Answer me." I firmed my voice, tired of dancing around questions._

_"I thought you would've pieced it together by now..." he mumbled, turning away. _

_"Why does that matter? Pieced what together?!" I practically shouted, growing irritated at my dad's pointless tales. "And what does any of this have to do with Bella?!"_

_"Jacob, you are not understanding!" he cried over all my ranting, exacerbated by me. "The baby was Bella."_

_"What?"_

_"My niece's baby, that baby from my story, was Bella."_

_The sudden words shocked me into silence._

_"We were never even together, my niece and I...the sex practically ended before it started, and by the time we were finished I swore she was crying." he paused, not looking up to glimpse my wide, unbelieving expression. "Renee was a lovely young woman, and she didn't even look one damned bit Quileute, all blonde and pale. Supposed that was from her white father; white men have strong genes. She did have the brown eyes though, the ones that Bella inherited. Those are Quileute eyes, deep and brown and soulful. I should've seen them right away, but I didn't. My fault, yet again..."_

_The truth hit me like a ton of bricks, though I had a growing feeling of dread that the bad news wasn't going to stop any time soon. I could feel myself slipping further and further into the darkness, my entire being shifting and changing with it. Even now I was molding myself into something new. I could only wait for more in horrific silence._

_"Charlie and I grew to be friends, and your mother and Renee became friends as well, letting you two play with each other even though she would have nothing to do with me. I think she blamed me for what happened, the family scandal that caused us both to be ousted over time. I think she thought to her grave that I knew all along and just used her because I could, and that's my biggest regret."_

_He let out a huge sigh, finally reclining enough to level eye-to-eye with me. I supposed he was waiting for me to say something, but I was struggling with the words. What was one supposed to say in a situation like this? _

_"So wh-...so where does this leave me?" I was finally able to manage after processing what the hell was going on. _

_"God damn you're slow boy!" he exclaimed, clearly tired of having to explain everything. "You and Bella, you two are cousins."_

* * *

**So, I hoped you enjoyed that new plot twist! Not too different I hope...right? This is still only the first half of the Jacob/Billy conversation...the second half, the half holds more of the fighting and clarifying/explanations, is still to come, but I think I might hold out on that one for a while. I do have a perfect scene in mind for when to add in that clip :)**

**I promise I am not messing with you all on purpose; all of this has a point that meets up together at some later time that I cannot say. Really, the only point of it all is to make things more complex, because really? Where can I go with a story about a father and daughter just screwing each other every chapter? Not many places! There has to be some more to it than that, and trust me, there will be )**

**Some of you will probably hate me for what is to come, some may be totally freaked out, but hey, do as you please. **

**Keep on reading! Thank you for all your support! Watch out for Chapter 7, coming your way soon!**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

**Bella POV**

_Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiing!_

And that bell, just like every other day, was how I started off my morning, walking in to school, everyone staring, and me not caring. Most days, though I was exceedingly popular by reasons I could not explain, I just wanted to get by unnoticed. However, today was not like any other today. Today was the first day when I wanted _everyone_ to notice me. I walked into that dingy, weathered building with my head held high, my aura absolutely glowing. I was exuding confidence, and no one who passed by didn't notice. I stole more attention than usual, and this me relished every moment of it. Of course, it helped that I was wearing a micro-mini with four inch stilettoes and a fairly low cut sweater. All the guys were drooling, watching my ass vanish from their sight as I passed them in the hall.

For the first time in my life, I felt sexy, powerful, and really like a woman. I wondered if this was what being a woman felt like, what losing your virginity did to your morale. I felt a thousand times surer of myself knowing that I was wanted, that there was a large, sexy piece of man waiting for me to come home so we could continue our games. I got chills just thinking about the different things Charlie was going to do to me once I returned, and it made me long to tell someone just how happy I really was now.

Ever since Jake had come out, all of my friends had treated me as if I carried some sort of plague, especially my guy friends. It was as if they thought I had made Jake gay, and honestly, I resented them for it. I looked forward to showing them up later, but now, I wished I had at least one of them to talk to. I wanted to tell someone about my raunchy weekend, about how my father was the most wonderful love-maker I had ever heard of, how I felt just thinking about him, but I couldn't. All my joy about my newfound relationship had to be bottled and contained, and I swore I was about to burst.

All I could do was daydream about him during class, and during lunch, all I did was watch people eat, finding sexual things in their movements. The way Jessica ate her banana reminded me of how it felt to have Charlie balls deep in my mouth, his cock nearly gagging me as it hit the back of my throat. The way Eric licked the yogurt off his spoon made me fight the urge to moan as I remembered how it felt to be chewed out, Charlie's tongue lapping up my juices as he plundered my pussy. I was practically a horny wreck twenty minutes in, and had to excuse myself from the table, bee lining to the bathroom in fear of coming in the middle of the cafeteria.

I ran into the nearest stall, locking the door securely behind me before ripping off my skirt and panties. I checked to make sure no one was around before I thrust my hand down in-between my legs, furiously rubbing my clit, desperate to get out all my pent up sexual tension before I became the school laughing stock and whore all in the same day. I laid back on the toilet seat as I finger fucked myself, letting my mind wander back to sex, Charlie's lips tickling places I did not know of, his tongue caressing my folds.

"Ohhh..." I moaned, my head rolling back, my eyes closing, my fingers working even harder.

I could feel myself coming, my body on edge, but I couldn't get over. Panting heavily, I parted my lips and automatically shoved two fingers up my pussy, vigorously pumping them in and out, my whole body rocking to the rhythm. I thought of Charlie, how his large member felt squeezing to my tight space, how every movement felt like a thousand million sparks of electricity were coursing through my body.

"Oh GOD!" I shouted, my voice thick with want, and I felt myself clench, my entire body erupting into spasms as I came all over the toilet seat.

I let my body ride out the adrenaline rush, my breath heavy and tired. I had exhausted myself, and I still had the rest of the day to make it through. My God, I had never thought that I could come that hard or that fast! I had tried to masturbate before, back when Jake and I were dating, but it had never given me such a high as it did now. Perhaps, now that I knew what sex was really like, what it was supposed to really feel like, the mind played a bigger part in the action, making everything seems that much more intense. Whatever it was, I needed to get a lid on, and fast. There was no way I could be running to the bathroom to get off every time someone ate a banana or looked at me sideways.

Perhaps I was in deeper than I thought.

Deeply sobered, I walked out of the empty bathroom, thankful that no one ever used the gym locker rooms at lunch, and cleaned myself up. I wiped away all traces of my incursion, and cleaned up the toilet seat just for good measure, clearing the room of all evidence. After everything was mostly spotless, the place still reeked of my scent, so I whipped out my perfume, thanking God that I had it one me today, and sprayed the place down until I could barely breathe through the scents of jasmine and vanilla.

Yes, if this is what wanting Charlie would entail, then I was definitely in desperate need of some control. Either that or I would need a shitload more of perfume. The former, no matter how hard or unwanted it may have been, was clearly the more reasonable choice. I still wanted to be a functioning member of society after all.

So, plucking up my remaining self-esteem and sexiness, I paraded out of the bathroom and re-entered the cafeteria, all eyes on me once more. I was sure they had all seen my rushed exit before, wondering what had happened to make me leave so urgently. Instead of making me feel like a walking exhibit however, their attention fed my budding ego, and I flashed a wonderful 'nothing is wrong' smile at everyone I passed. Soon enough, I was no longer on display, and things resumed as normal.

My friends all eyes me as I sat down, but they always did that. After all, I was one of the heads of this group, but today they weren't staring at me in a good way. They were analyzing me. To be honest, the guys were ogling, but the girls were analyzing, wondering what the hell had happened to me that would make me wear something so, well, skanky.

I heard Jessica whisper something to Mike, something that made him immediately blush and then turn away from me in shame. He got up and left, but I didn't much mind. Eric and Tyler were still there to entertain me with their expressions. Ben Cheney was there, his face contorted into something like curiosity and confliction, due to Angela being wrapped under his arm. Yes, this was definitely fun.

"Hey Bella." Lauren hissed. If she didn't already dislike me for stealing her limelight as I was, she definitely hated me now that I had every guy's attention plus Tyler's. I didn't care much about that either. She was just a petty bitch and I was done dealing with her jealousy. "Back from the dead I see."

"Hi Lauren." I smiled my fakest, sweetest smile. "It's nice to see you too."

She sneered at me, then leaned over to tell Tyler something, but he shoved her off, too busy trying not to stare at my ample cleavage. She pouted and then laid back in her chair, picking at her salad and glaring at me.

"So Bella, what's with the transformation?" I heard from across the table, turning my head until I met Angela's cautious eyes. I was still gloating in my defeat of Lauren, and Angela really was the only person I liked at the moment, so I decided not to be mean to her. She was only ever nice to me unlike the other two attention-seeking bitches sitting at the table.

"What?" I asked, feigning innocence. "Oh, this? It's nothing. I just decided to pep myself up after what's happened the past few weeks. I am a whole new Bella."

I smiled at the last words, which were the honest truth. This relationship with Charlie has possibly been the best thing for my self-esteem, which was near non-existent after Jake dumped me. Now that I was a full-blooded woman, there was nothing that could stop me. I was wanted, and I was invincible.

It was clear to me now, the attention I got from guys that I had never noticed before. They had always wanted the shy little virgin Bella, but now that I exuded confidence, they wanted me even more. I could see the signs, the stares, and the whistles. I could tell which guys wanted to jump in my pants. I could see which guys I could get in an instant, and I now knew how to get the guys I wanted. Being taken made you wanted. Being wanted let you know how to get taken. Now that I knew how it all worked, I knew that I would have no problems with any relationship ever again.

I was unstoppable and I knew it, my friends knew it, and now the entire school knew it.

This was the beginnings of a great year.

**Jake POV**

I was never sure how school was going to be for me after my break-up, then hook-up with another guy, and then that…_revelation_. Surprisingly, I was still just as well received in school, gay or not, and things went on as if they had never changed at all, but never in a million years did I expect what happened today to go on. I never expected Bella to arrive at school dressed like, well_, a whore_, and have every guy at school fawn over her. I never expected her, shy, quiet Bella, to be the one to be so ballsy, to step up her game and totally make me look like the devastated one in our break-up even though it happened weeks ago. And most of all, I didn't expect to be so turned on by it.

It was as if my dick was doing the freaking tango in my pants every time I passed by her, and scared the shit out of me. I had never been attracted to the sluts in school, even when they forced themselves on me, and even when I was with Bella, I was never attracted to her in that way. Recently, I had summed that all up to being gay, but that didn't explain why I was aroused by my ex-girlfriend now; did that mean that I wasn't really gay? Was this all a misunderstanding? I knew that would make my dad happy, but I knew that wasn't true as soon as I thought it. My feelings, my_ desire_ for Edward was definitely real, but so was my sudden attraction to Bella.

When I had brushed by her in the hallway, it was as if a thousand sparks of electricity passed up and down my body, and I had to yank my hand away in shock. And the shock didn't go away. I thought maybe it was a mistake, old emotions flaming up, but ten minutes later, I could still feel my hand buzzing, and by that point, I was already hyper-ventilating. How was I going to explain this to Edward? What would he say if I just went up to him and said, "Hey, by the way, I got a boner in the middle of the hallway by my ex-girlfriend today. Thought you might want to know!"

No way in hell I was telling him anything. Ever. Edward may be a great lover and caring partner, but he got insanely jealous of every other guy, straight or not, that even looked at me for more than a second. It was one of his less appealing quirks I had come to discover.

But anyway, sitting in English class, it took all my will power not to look over at Bella. The glimpse I caught of her earlier as I brushed her hand, the unexpected sight of her in a micro-mini and dangerously low cut sweater, was enough to make any man drool, and I was afraid of what I might feel if I allowed myself contact. All it would do is torment me.

Still, I knew at some point we would have to speak, if not about our relationship then about our recently discovered family ties. My dad had implied that Bella didn't know anything, but the second half of the conversation, the decidedly worst half, didn't assure me much. If anything, it made me want to run and hide away for the rest of my life, thinking of all the things Bella and I did as 'cousins'. What the fuck was wrong with my father?

I didn't know how I was going to tell her, but I knew I had to. She deserved to know the truth. The only reason I was hesitant was the fact that she was extremely fragile, even before the break-up, and I didn't know what this information would do to her. I assumed that her new outfit and confidence was a front to protect herself against her snobby friends and the entire school - she never liked being the center of attention, but that never meant that she liked being an outcast - and that meant that on the inside, she was still able to shatter at any time. I didn't want to be the sole source of her pain.

That fact made not staring at her a little bit easier, but as the hour long class progressed, I could feel my will power waning. I prayed for the bell to go off soon, for the alarm to sound and release me to my car so I could drive far away. I thanked God that I had opted to take a shortened schedule this year. Bella was still in school while I got to leave her far behind. At first, when we were dating, I hated it; now, I couldn't wait to put as much distance between us as possible.

The teacher was still droning on about Beowulf, about how to identify kennings and other devices in epic poems. Personally, I disliked the story. I found that its grand lack of realism in a time that despised all things mystical was hypocritical, and any other day I would kiss up to the teacher like always and enact a debate on the topic, winning brownie points in her book, but not today. Today, I just wanted to get the hell out of there.

So, when the bell finally did ring, I darted out of class so fast that I left even the nerds in the dust. I was sure I left everyone wide-eyed and questioning, but I didn't care. I made a bee-line to my car and jumped in, the old grey pick-up truck creaking under my weight. I guess that's what I got for being quarterback on the Forks High School football team.

_Long live the Spartans,_ I thought miserably.

I remembered reading somewhere that either in ancient Greece or Rome that they encouraged homosexual relationships between their troops. Apparently it improved their abilities, and kept them in practice for when they returned to their wives. Either way, though disturbing and extremely funny, I found that fact ironic now. Technically I was a 'warrior', a rough and tough football player, who was engaged in said relationship, but I had no woman to go back to, at least I didn't think I did.

Looking up from my reverie, my question was answered. Apparently, I had forgotten to leave, my urge to flee slowly trickling away only to be sharply reinstated as I found Bella, high heels and all, standing right in front of my truck, hands on her hips, obviously looking for me.

I really should've left earlier.

**Charlie POV**

I arrived at work at my usual time. I said hello to all the same people, read over all the same reports. No new crimes to be discovered, no one to interrogate or bring in. No, today was a good day, a day for relaxing, a day to file some papers and then head home early, hopefully to find Bella waiting for me with dinner...and dessert.

I smiled to myself, careful not to let anyone see, secretly gloating in my new deadly rendez-vous. Bella had been persistent; I gave her that, but really, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I never would've been able to give her up anyway. After tasting her, after taking her in so many ways, I couldn't imagine a life where I couldn't fuck her. She was perfect in every way, both a vixen and a virgin simultaneously, and impossible to resist. I figured I'd give myself some credit. I could've lasted a week without her, maybe two, but after that, I would've been putty at her feet. She would've won either way, and for once, I wasn't sad about losing. If anything, losing this battle was the best loss I had ever gained.

Yes, I was on cloud nine. My life was seemingly perfect at the moment: With the perfect girl to bang, the cushiest job, and hours' worth of leave I could use at any time, I had it made. The only thing that could complete my day, was some famous Carver Café coffee, possibly the best coffee a man could ever ask for. Deputy Jones usually bought it for the entire work force early in the morning, a steaming cup always waiting on my desk as I walked into my office, but as I reached for it today, I found my hand strangely empty, the standard black porcelain mug missing from the ring it had made after being set down day after day on the old oak tableau. It was a small annoyance, and yet a major let down on the high I was just experiencing.

"Hey, Alan!" I called from my office, door open a usual.

A few moments later, Alan, or more like Deputy Richards was standing in the doorway, extremely alert for seven a.m. in the morning, his old yet trained eyes sharpened and focused for a long day of doing nothing. He was always like that though, which was why I entrusted him with everything. He was my right-hand-man, my number two, and surely he would know what had happened to the coffee.

"Did Jones go and get coffee today?"

"Nah, afraid he's gone Charlie," he sighed, leaning against the doorframe. "Turned in his badge on Friday. He and the missus are moving to Portland, says she got a job offer there that they both couldn't refuse."

"Oh, shit. Why wasn't I told about this?" I put my face in my hands, trying to rub away the frustration.

"You were, Charlie. Damn near three times. I called you, if you would ever pick up your phone."

"Yeah," I sighed, knowing I couldn't be mad at Alan. Couldn't shoot the messenger, or Jones. This was my fault for not picking up the phone. I silently cursed Bella for making me lazy. "Sorry Alan."

"S'okay man."

"What are we going to do now? We're gonna need someone to do all the paperwork, phone calls, and God damn it, I need my coffee!"

"Well, since you were temporarily disposed over the weekend, I took the liberty of hiring someone for the job, if you don't mind."

"Nah, not at all."

I had always trusted Alan's judgment, and if he thought he found someone who could do Jones's job, then I had no problem giving them a go. Besides, I hated doing the paperwork for new employees. It was too big a pain in the ass for me right now.

"When does he start?" I asked, going back to my seat behind the desk, rifling through old files and logging into the system.

He chuckled at me for reasons I could not tell. Shaking his head, he leaned out the office and motioned for someone to come in. I was a little taken aback; I hadn't expected the guy to start so early. I also didn't know what was so funny about the new guy, but I was anxious to find out.

As soon as the new employee entered my office, my jaw dropped. I now knew why Alan was laughing, and I felt the urge to deck him.

For starters, he was definitely a she, and a very, _very_ attractive she at that.

It was almost as if Alan had hired a Playboy bunny, the way her crisp, white blouse pulled across her chest, unbuttoned at the top, with a navy blue neck tie accentuating the curve of her breasts as it trailed down her torso. Her pencil skirt stuck to her every curve, ending right above her knees. She had on black pumps that made her look even taller than she naturally was, almost as tall as me, her long legs creating a very distracting show. I hadn't seen her from behind yet, but I was sure that skirt also showed off one very fine ass.

"Charlie, meet our new secretary." Alan announced as she made her presence known.

I had to mentally, and almost physically, smack myself to keep from staring at her magnificent body. As I looked up, I could see Alan silently peeing himself from behind the woman, and I shot him a look saying that he was going to get it as soon as she left. Trying to retrieve a shred of professionalism, I stepped forward to shake her hand, welcoming her to the force. She had a firm, impressive handshake, but even more impressive eye-contact, her green eyes sparkling bright. I had to fight to avert my gaze.

"Thank you for taking this position so quickly Ms…?"

I felt slightly embarrassed that I did not know her name, but she didn't seem bothered by it at all. In fact, she seemed happy to oblige more information.

"Winters. Evie Winters. And really, thank you Chief Swan for giving me this chance. I know I don't have many credentials or experience, and I just came out of college, but I really do appreciate you giving me this opportunity to work for such a well-respected police force."

She said that all with such emotion and grace that all I could do was smile. Such a well-spoken young lady with such bursting potential was needed here. No wonder Alan hired her on the spot. She was fresh blood in an old town, and not only that, she was fresh out of school as well, full of new methods and ideas. With her, we could really reach full potential.

"Really, it is no problem. We are honored to have you aboard. Hopefully, you can find a home here, do some good in this community,"

"Oh, I hope so."

Immediately the atmosphere in the room changed.

Such an innocent statement said with such an innocent, happy smile, but I felt a jolt of energy shoot up my spine. That woman sounded exactly like Bella, sweet with an underlying tone of mystery and subtle danger. I instantly knew with those words that there was something more to her. This woman was definitely a fire cracker, someone I would be sure to keep an eye on, and not only because she was hot.

"Well, good," I said, clearing my throat, "But first, would you mind heading over to the Carver Café and getting me some coffee? I can't focus without my cup."

"Of course Chief Swan," she smiled, picking the empty black mug off of its shelf as if it were an old habit.

"And ask the other guys as well; I'm sure they'd appreciate it." I added, just for good measure.

"Naturally."

She nodded her head at both Alan and I before leaving, her long, curly blonde tresses bouncing behind her as I examined her correctly-predicted ass, tightly bound in the grey tweed. As soon as she was out of view, I walked over and shut the door, making sure this conversation stayed private.

"Alan, we can't keep her."

"Why not?" Alan groaned, astonished at my rejection.

"My God, man! Were you only thinking with your dick?!" I exclaimed, slamming down the file I was holding.

"She's perfectly qualified!" He defended his choice, arms crossed, mustache furrowing. "Four years in the Criminal Justice Academy at ITT Tech and then two years interning at the Estacada Police Department. Sure she's young and inexperienced, but it's not like she's gonna be out catching criminals. She's gonna be in here, getting coffee and filing reports."

"And that's the problem Alan! She's gonna be in here. All the time. I mean, just _look_ at her-"

"Oh, trust me; I've done my fair share of looking…" Alan said with a chuckle.

I shot him a glare and he stopped. I was not in the mood.

"Seriously, just look at her. She is a major distraction to the guys. I mean, we're both older men. We can control ourselves. But the young guys, the probates? She'll eat them up and spit them out one by one."

I felt hypocritical, saying we could control ourselves around younger women when I was screwing my daughter who was nearly six years younger than Evie Winters. Still, what I spoke was truth. She was trouble.

"Alan, you can only imagine what that woman, the only woman on the force might I add, will do to a group of young, hot-head cops!"

I was done with my ranting for now. I wasn't sure why I cared so much about what this woman was going to do with the guys on the force. I wasn't even sure if she was really like that, though I doubted that she wasn't. Maybe, deep down inside, I thought she was too much like Bella, which would not end up well. I had just promised my daughter I wouldn't hurt her anymore, that we could make this thing work. The last thing I needed was to jump into bed with some tease that looked like her. One drunken night was all it would take…

"Charlie, just give her a chance. There aren't that many probies anyway…She could be good for the force. We haven't had new, educated blood in years!"

"I don't know Alan…"

"Tell you what. You give her a month, and if you are still feeling uneasy by then, you can fire her. Sound good to you?"

I mulled it over in my head. A month without her could work, enough time to test her mettle while still not enough time for her to receive benefits, insurance, a payroll, or get in my pants…I hoped. She seemed like the kind of woman who would stop at nothing to get what she wanted, and that slightly scared me and turned me on, and I didn't know which was worse. Still, I couldn't just let her go after a day; that wouldn't be fair to anyone in the situation. We'd still be out a secretary and reviews were coming up in a week. Definitely not a time to be without a secretary.

Either way, I was screwed, stuck between a rock and a hard place. Really, I knew he only had one choice. I'd have to put the force above myself. I'd have to let her stay.

"Fine. One month. Then, we go from there."

"Good!" Alan said, most pleased with my decision. "I'm sure you're making the right decision Charlie. You'll see."

And with that, he left, shutting my door behind him. I sat down in my leather bound swivel chair, leaning back as far as It could go, running my hands over my face. I didn't know what the hell was going on and my head felt like it was about to explode. And I was in such a good mood this morning…

I looked up her files on the database and came up with no new information other than her brother and sister go to school in the county and that she was suspended for using her cell phone in the ninth grade. She had graduated top of her class in ITT Tech and now had landed her, in cozy old Forks. Nothing suspicious, nothing criminal. If anything, that had only made me more so.

Sighing, I relented for the day. There was nothing I could do now.

"I sure hope so Alan…I sure hope so."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

**Jake POV**

"Bella?"

That was all I could manage to say. I was utterly speechless, completely shocked that she was actually looking for me, seeking me out. Now, I had no idea what she wanted; she could be there to kill me for all I knew, but I was willing to take a chance. She had made it clear she wanted nothing to do with me earlier. Maybe now we could get a chance to heal our damaged relationship.

So, I got out of the car, swallowing all the rising questions and past injuries to face her very different self. She had obviously done some self-exploring in the riskier side of town, with the super-clingy, ultra-short get-up; I felt as if I was going up against a mad cheerleader, and I wasn't sure how this new Bella would react to anything I had to say, but I stuck my neck out to the blade anyway.

"Uh, so, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be heading home by now?"

My mouth was dry in anticipation. I held my breath, waiting for bombs to go off at any moment.

"Jake, we need to talk."

Damn. It seems as if those words were all I heard now a days. I was about one talk short of ripping my hair out and moving to Alaska.

_No, I don't want to talk. I never want to talk with anyone ever again. If I never have to speak anyone for the rest of my life, it will be too soon._

"Sure, of course." was what I was finally able to utter pathetically. I could never say no to her anyway.

She eyed me warily, eyebrows raised, before stomping off in her little heels, sashaying away for me to follow her tightly-bound, lycra-clad ass. And I did follow, like an obedient puppy following its master. I didn't miss a step, carefully following her as we wove our ways into the woods behind the school. My eyes never veered from the back of her head, despite my urge to stare at that wonderful appendage prominently flashing just a little further down. It was driving me insane, and I wondered how I had missed such a wonderful asset before. I mean seriously?! I had dated the girl for years and I managed to miss possibly one of the greatest rear-ends in all of Forks. I guess it had to do with my wandering eye and mind to Edward, his body previously a hundred fold more attractive to me than hers. I wondered why I was just noticing this now.

My treacherous eyes almost made me run into Bella, her body suddenly halting in the middle of a very secluded clearing. I had no idea how long we had been walking, but it clearly was farther than I had imagined possible. It only seemed like a few minutes, but we must've been travelling for a while, the scents of the familiar Rez pinewoods and fern trees filling my nose; the sounds of the ocean were close by. I had never seen this place before, and I _lived_ in these woods.

I was confused now more than anything. Why had she brought me all the way out here to talk? Why did she want me alone? Did I do something wrong? It was all a mystery to me, and it didn't help that Bella refused to face me, her body turned towards the field of flowers in front of her. They all bloomed in shades of violet and coral, marigolds and wild lilies grew in droves, painting a masterpiece on the lush, verdant green grass. It was almost like a scene out of a storybook. Now, if only the story had a happy ending. I had my fingers crossed.

"You know, I didn't bring you out here to kill you, so you can stop pacing around like a scared puppy."

Bella's voice cut sharply through the peaceful glen, shattering my train of thought. Once again, the focus was back on her, her perfect figure. Even from behind she was so beautiful, almost like a goddess, glowing with pride and confidence. I was ashamed that I hadn't noticed all of this about her before, all that confidence she had was really doing wonders for her self-esteem. I had a startling thought that maybe I was the one who was holding her back, that I was the one who was making her lose her confidence in herself. She didn't shine before like she did now that I was gone. Maybe she was actually better off without me. I wasn't going to say that the thought didn't hurt.

"Then why did you bring me out here?" I asked, an edge to my voice. "Just a few days ago you wanted nothing to do with me."

"I know," she turned to face me, her eyes conflicted as well, but full of apology. "I'm sorry Jake."

"It's okay." I nodded to the ground, shuffling my feet.

"No, it's not," she sighed, shaking her head. "I was just...still hurt, confused. I was trying to understand why. I mean, you were the first guy I ever really cared about, who I ever really _loved._ It was just a low blow. I knew it was coming, but that didn't really prepare for...well, for _everything_."

"I know, and I should've told you the moment I started having thoughts about it, about...other guys, but I didn't because somewhere in my mind I was thinking that if I told you, I would hurt you. I didn't want to break your heart. And I know now that what I did was wrong; I shouldn't have acted the way I did, shouldn't have led you on like that, especially after we started becoming serious. The breakup, the not-talking, I mean the list of things I wish I could change is never ending. At this rate, I don't think a life time of sorries can undo all my fuck-ups."

I was practically pleading with her, running my fingers through my hair, borderline ripping it out as my heart thumped out of my chest. I basically puked up words at Bella, feelings, thoughts, emotions I had been suppressing for nearly a year, and I felt physically sick to my stomach. I could see her eyes well up, her hand reached out to hold my arm in comfort, a safe but helpful gesture. I didn't move; I didn't want to risk anything else.

"Jake, you can't change who you are. I understand that now; it's not your fault who you're attracted to. If anything, it's my fault for not confronting you when I started suspecting things. I let myself believe that we would work, that you weren't...gay. I tricked myself into thinking that everything was fine with us, when everyone could see we were falling apart by the minute. I let myself be the fool here."

She spoke in such gentle, comforting words that it hurt me to listen to. She was deliberately taking the brunt of my actions, and to make things worse, she was making herself believe that it was her fault. She was taking responsibility for my mistakes, and it made me made. I shoved her hand away and started to pace frantically.

"No, don't you do that! Don't you dare! Don't even think about making this your fault. This is hundred percent me, a hundred percent me. I hurt you Bella, and you're just sitting there, trying to make me feel better, like I didn't break your heart!"

She was beginning to cry on the log, tears welling in her eyes, but not the sad kind, the angry, confused kind. Her brown eyes glittered with the watery beads edging at the corners.

"That's not the point..." she trailed through clenched teeth.

"That is exactly the point! You should hate me! You should wish me dead and curse my name and egg my house! You shouldn't be sitting here consoling me! I mean, just look at you! You are practically glowing with happiness, with self-confidence now that we've broken up! It's as if you're life's become freaking perfect, as if you're a whole new, better person now that the dark cloud of me has lifted!"

"Jake, that has nothing to do with-"

"Did I ever make you feel as if you were inferior, as if you weren't good enough? Because that's what it looks like! And I am sorry, I am so sorry if I ever made you feel like that. The last thing I ever wanted was to see you hurt, to make you feel...to make you feel as if you weren't perfect. Because you are. You are so amazing Bella, and I hope you know that. Any guy would be so lucky to have you. You deserve so much more than what I gave you, so much more, and I hope you find someone someday who actually treats you the way you deserve to be treated." I took in a ragged breath, avoiding her watery gaze. "Great, just look at me. I'm a straight-up mess. Seems as though fucking things up is all I'm good at."

"Jake," she stated plainly, her voice quavering. I looked up to see her wipe her eyes on her sweater sleeve, a smile forming on her lips. She moved to meet me, forcing eye contact. "You aren't a bad guy. You're not a monster, or a terrible person, a jerk maybe, a douche, yes, but not horrible. You're just human; you made a mistake. So what? I'm fine, just fine. I'll move on, in fact, I've already moved on."

"What?" I asked, completely stunned. "You've moved on? With who?"

"He doesn't go to our school or live on the Rez. You probably wouldn't know him..."

"Then how do you?"

"He works with my dad, at the station. New probie."

Okay, that was totally weird. Bella was never one to go for older guys. Whenever we would walk by couples on the street, the ones where the age difference between the guy and the girl was noticeably different, she would grimace to herself and comment something along the lines of 'That's so gross. Who would go for someone that much older than themselves.' Now, given that this guy was a probie, according to her, he couldn't be too much older, no more than six or seven years, but still, for Bella, that was a stretch. She got weird sometimes when our friends brought up our own nine-month age difference; imagining her dealing with the scrutiny of dating someone nine years older than her must be more than she could take, or at least it would be for the Bella I knew. Everyone could change...

"Humph. Older guy, well, wow Bella...I didn't think that..."

"Think what? That I'd ever move on from you?"

Her voice had just a tiny bit of bite to it, a little bit of left over resentment that I knew she couldn't get rid of. I knew part of her was never going to forgive me, despite her saintly intentions, and I was alright with it. I could be happy for her, for our friendship's sake. All I wanted was to salvage our relationship, as much of it was we could, before it was lost forever.

"No! Not that! I'm just surprised. I didn't think you'd go for an older dude is all."

"Does it matter? I thought you'd be happy for me. Isn't that what you wanted? For us to move on? I mean, now that you have Edward and I have my guy, I thought we could finally stop all the hard feelings. So what do you say Jake? Can we at least try to be friends again?"

I stared blankly at her for a moment, taking a minute to let the words in between the lines sink in. Was she serious? Was she really willing to put the past behind us? And was I really willing to let this whole new guy thing go so soon? I mean, we may not be dating anymore, but I was still severely protective of my closest friend. I didn't know if I could really trust her with a older guy. But, I supposed, for the friendship's sake, that some things could be discussed later.

She stared up at me with wide, hopeful eyes, which automatically made me melt, just like it used to. She could always get her way with those eyes, like it would take any convincing this time. This time, I didn't need the eyes. This time, I wanted to fix this.

"I'd like that very much." I smiled genuinely at her; a huge burden lifted off my shoulders. For the first time in a while, I felt free.

"Good."

She grinned back at me and leaned into a hug that I didn't even know I was offering. My arms wrapped around her cautiously, afraid to test the newfound barriers of our resurrected friendship.

"Now what do we do?" I asked awkwardly. I knew it was time for the goodbye, but in the past it was the part where we kissed, and kissed, and kissed until we had burnt at least another hour of time and had to be pried away from each other by our irked fathers. Kissing was strictly off-limits now, obviously, so we were stuck standing around, looking about our surroundings with nothing to talk about. I hoped in the future this awkwardness would dissipate, but I knew it would take a lot of time before that.

"Well, I guess this is the part where we go our separate ways..." she smirked a little, teasing me. Maybe there was hope for their future.

"No dip Sherlock!" I retorted in jest. "I mean, where does that leave us?"

"Well, I have to go home, make dinner for Charlie, study for a math test, etcetera, etcetera..."

"Do you want a ride home? It's a pretty long walk back from here, unless you like walking through the woods alone in the middle of the night."

"Nah, I think I'll manage. I'm very resourceful you know."

She was smiling again - albeit a bit wickedly - and so was I. Even though I was antsy at the fact that she wanted to wander through the woods at midnight as klutzy as she was, I was put at peace by her. She wasn't yelling or screaming at me, wishing me dead and writing me hate mail. She was actually nice to me, and arguing with her was the last thing I wanted now. It was better if I just let her be.

"Alright then. See you at school?" I asked timidly. This was possibly the final test of truth, to see if she was really true to her word about making it work with us outside of this tiny glen. Thankfully, her response put me back at ease.

"Sure. Lunch, second half? I'm free if you want to catch up."

It was a cordial gesture, a white flag waving for all to see, so I grasped at it, taking it in full running strides.

"Sounds like a plan." I answered happily, my face beaming like an idiot.

She had already begun walking away, bouncing in an almost a skipping motion to the opposite end of the clearing. It was evident that she wished to leave, her body almost gone from sight into the wooded beyond, but she wasn't rude. She too was grinning as she turned to wish me farewell.

"Alright, don't forget!" she called to me from afar.

"Wouldn't dream of it!" I responded, my voice carrying over the wide, empty space, echoing off the mountains.

"Goodbye." she mouthed before silently slipping away, disappearing like nymph into the forest.

"Bye Bella..."

She couldn't hear me; she was already gone. Just as soon as the conversation had happened, it had ended, leaving me dazed. Was this a dream? Did I really just reconcile with my ex-girlfriend? Are we really going to get a second chance, a clean slate? All of this was honestly too good to be true; I had to smack myself a few times to make sure I wasn't asleep. I walked in a wondrous haze all the miles back to the school, the sun long since set when I returned to my forgotten truck, the sole care left in the abandoned lot.

Maybe my life was taking a much-needed turn for the better. Maybe I was actually going to get the chance to prove to myself that I wasn't a fuck-up. Maybe this is my chance to be something more, something better to Bella, someone she deserved.

And then I remembered the argument; like a cancer that horror returned, and I drove the rest of the way home in conflicted rage.

* * *

**Bella POV**

My back against rough tree bark, I held my heaving breaths until I heard Jacob's heavy steps fade far away into the forest. Once I was certain he was gone, I threw myself back into the clearing, fussing about in order to dislodge the twigs and leaves that had taken root in my brown locks. That was the last time I decided to take someone into the woods for a talk. At least it was worth it.

Thank_ God_ Jacob was willing to give our friendship another try. Honestly, our falling out was like a giant black cloud looming over my head, raining on my parade of new self-confidence and beauty. I knew that if I really wanted to reach my full potential, then things with him would have to be set right. Now, I really just wanted to punch him in the face and scream obscenities at him for ripping out my heart and then pissing on it with his gorgeous, male lover. But, for my sake, I had to toughen up and be the better person.

At least he had the common sense not to ogle me, like he even would anymore...

I really just wanted to swallow back vomit as I told Jake that it wasn't his fault, that it was mine that he played me because I was just_ soooo_ stupid. Thankfully he bought it all, playing right into my hands like putty, admitting fault in this whole mess. His apology was gratifying and did make me feel better, but I knew some scars would always linger. I did date the guy for practically all of high school. All in all, the affair ended well, and even though I would rather shoot my myself than eat lunch with him tomorrow, I figured it was small price to pay for moving on to bigger and better things. Now there was nothing tying me down.

And honestly, even though I was doing this so I wouldn't have to look at Jake and be reminded of guilt and pain, so I could move on with my life, I was glad that we could end on a good note. Jake was my best friend after all, the one person who had been there for me through everything since the beginning of time. Even though I wasn't with him anymore, I still wanted him in my life, and not as a bad memory.

But, in the midst of my success, I still had one more problem left to solve: I was stuck in the woods with no way to get home. I had rejected Jacob's offer simply out of the fact that I had had my fill of him for the day and I didn't know how much longer I could milk the care-free act. I knew in my whole heart that that ride would've ended in screams and tears. So, I was basically stranded, completely unaware of where I was. It was by sheer luck that we had ended up in that meadow, and I was directionally impaired with no route to follow back to the school.

However, I did hear cars in the distance, and where there were cars, there would be drivers. Male drivers who would jump at the chance to drive a pretty, scantily clad girl such as myself, home.

Smirking and adjusting my push-up bra, I suddenly had the best idea of how to get home.

* * *

**Charlie POV**

I really just wanted to get the fuck out of there. Like now. No, I needed to get out of there, the sooner the better. And it wasn't even because I was stressed or swamped or anything. In fact, work was virtually perfect, actually a little too perfect, and that's what was driving me crazy.

She was driving me crazy. Every time I turned around, she was there with a file or a phone call or another cup of coffee. It was always "for you Chief Swan" or "of course Chief Swan." I swore to God that if I heard her use my name one more time in the sickeningly sweet southern accent of hers, then I was going to go crazy and fire her, or kill myself. Whichever came first. And as if the voice wasn't bad enough, it actually turned me on. I had to do more than my fair share of boner cover-ups over the course of the day, and it was freaking painful after a while. To be so pent up around a bombshell of a woman who purposely wore push-up bras and low cut shirts, her girls putting on a free show every time she leaned over, which was all the time, with no release was torture. I felt bad for Bella, who was going to get the brunt of my anger as soon as I got home to take her little ass all over the house. By the time we finish, the whole place will be covered in cum and she'll be waddling for days. It was going to take a _least_ a whole night of sex to make up for all this frustration.

I had finally managed some peace and quiet after hours of searching for escape. I had decided to take my lunch hour inside my office, and made sure to lock to door behind me. The last thing I wanted was to be disturbed any more. I just wanted to be left the hell alone for once.

I rummaged through all the past unsolved files, desperately trying to re-route my thoughts from that vixen of a secretary. Usually open cases were enough for me to lose myself in for a few hours, but today, they were doing zilch. I went file after file, case after case. Murder, rape, theft, another murder, double homicide, multiple animal attacks, but all I got in the end was a deep sense of sorrow and a craving for some deer jerky. That was usually why I tried to stay away from the animal cases.

More frustrated than ever, I threw the manila files off of my desk, the heavy bodies landing with a thud on the floor, louder than I expected, and I prayed that no one heard and would ask any questions. I did not want anyone near me.

But, of course, I could never get what I wanted.

"Chief Swan? Is everything alright?"

Evie's melodic voice resonated through the thick mahogany door, the twang lost between the grains of the wood. I could just imagine her, body pressed sideways against the entryway, face contorted in worry, her breasts squished together, falling out of the low V-neck blouse, so that her cleavage was-

I practically slapped myself in the face. This was exactly what I was trying to avoid! Stop think about her, right now!

"Oh shit, just, perfect!" I hissed under my breath, looking down to see a wet spot growing on the crotch of my slacks for about the hundredth time that day. Of course my dick decided to have a party against my permission. This was fucking _great_.

"Chief Swan? Are you okay?"

I was scrambling to cover myself, her voice further sending me into a frenzied rage.

"Yes, I'm fine! Just, give a minute!"

Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit! Did I really just say that? Was I really going to let the temptress herself into my office all alone with my cock growing by the second? What the hell was I thinking?! Still, I ran about, replacing things where they went and drying off my pants as best I could. Thank God they were navy and the stain wasn't as noticeable.

When I was presentable enough, I unlocked my office, and just as I thought, Evie was right there in the doorway with arms crossed over her chest and face warped in a pouty worry.

"Yes, Evie?" I sighed, wanting her gone from my sight.

"I heard a bang from inside the office. I just wanted to see if you were alright."

"Well obviously, I'm fine." I let out a strained smile, hoping my apathy would get her off my back.

"Are you sure? What was it?"

"Nothing, I just dropped some files is all."

"Oh, here! Let me help you with those!"

Her voiced gained its girlish enthusiasm back as she bounced into my office, practically mowing me down to enter.

"No, really, it's okay. I got them-" I tried to stop her; the last thing I wanted was for her to come in and never leave.

"Nonsense! It's my job to look after you, even if that means fetching coffee or picking up files."

I was about to reply, my arms outstretched to escort her out, when she bent over to pick up one of the files, her ass bent towards my face. I was immediately stunned into silence as I watched her ass wiggle back and forth as she gathered the folders up off the floor. It was like a show, a riveting one where I couldn't look away. Her ass was just so firm, so plump; all I wanted to do was squeeze it.

"Chief Swan? Can you come get these please? I'm afraid they're too heavy, and there are still more."

She snapped me out of my reverie, but I was still entranced. Like a zombie, I moved over to do her will, taking the folders from her as she beamed at me. She was still leaned over, crouched on the balls of her feet, her breasts practically spilling out in front of me. Her skirt also cast shadows over her legs, a tiny gap visible where the fabric exposed her to the world. If only I was just a little bit lower, I would get the chance to see if she wore underwear or not.

She rose, and I did too, my eyes never leaving her body. I was glued on her, as if she had some kind of hypnotic power over me. But she wasn't even paying the slightest bit of attention. She didn't even look at me, her eyes glued on the filing, making sure that each file went back into its proper place in the cabinet, alphabetizing and categorizing everything as she went along.

Honestly, with all things aside, she was good at her job. She did everything well, and she sure as hell was better at filing than the last secretary. As much as I loved Mrs. Akins, she was frankly too old to know her right from her left. Things would always be placed in the wrong filing cabinets, evidence would be lost, reports missing. Once she even lit up a bag of marijuana, on accident of course. She thought it was her incense stick she had ordered a week prior, and she couldn't understand why it didn't smell like the beach. After that, I had to seriously consider her future here. Now, we had Evie, and although things have been running smoothly for the department, I wasn't so sure that things were ever going to get done as long as the probies, and myself included, were busy eye-banging her.

"There we go, all done. It's as if they were never missing!" She looked proud, eyes beaming up to me for approval. I smiled a little in thanks.

"Thank you Miss Winters."

"My pleasure."

"Well then, if that's it, I would actually like some time alone to check over this week's cases, so if you don't mind-"

"Actually, Chief Swan, can I ask a favor of you?"

I let out an incredulous breath. Work would have to wait. Great. Just what I needed. Why did I ever think I was going to get rid of her? Just my luck...

"Sure thing."

I gestured towards a chair, which she quickly took, crossing her legs over themselves. I shut the door behind us before moving over to behind my desk, folding my hands over one another as I leaned back in my leather-bound chair.

"What is it?"

"Well, I'm still fairly new here, and I don't know much about Forks at all. I have no idea where anything is, or what there is to do, nothing. I hardly know my way home every night! So I was wondering if you would be willing to show me around?"

"You want me to give you a tour of Forks?" Well, I didn't see that one coming.

"Yes!" she said breathlessly, her face visibly relaxing. I hadn't even noticed she was tense. "See, I thought, who better to show me around than the one person who has been cleaning up its streets for a decade now! Surely you know all there is to know about Forks, and I know nothing! I don't even know where the highway is."

"I'm flattered, really, but can't you get one of the guys to take you? I don't mean to be rude but, I've got a lot of work that needs to be done. I don't really have time to-"

"But I don't trust any of the other officers like I trust you. You know all the ins and outs of this town. And I'm a woman; I don't know where I'm going at night! Who's to say I don't end up in the wrong side of town? Who knows what'll happen to me there, with all the gangs and violence."

Her eyes were wide and puppy-dog like, shining over with tears, making her baby blues sparkle even more than usual. She had somehow leaned over the table and had her hands grasped onto mine, obviously there in a pleading notion.

Even though my entire body was screaming no, that this was the worst situation I could possibly put myself in right now, I had to think rationally. Though her motives were a bit unclear, part of her just wanted to know more about her home and trying to protect herself. It would be wrong of me to deprive her of that, to leave her stranded in a town that could be confusing even to some of its long-time residents. No, that would be asinine, and I would be the ass.

So, giving into her, I let out a defeated sigh.

"Fine. I'll show you around."

"Oh, thank you Chief Swan! You have no idea how grateful I am!"

"Sure." I waved her hands away, looking at my calendar. "Now, since I am busy, I don't have much leeway..."

"I'm fine with whatever time you choose," she nodded vigorously, making my suspicions rise just a tiny bit. She was an odd one...

"Okay then...next Tuesday, morning patrol at 6 a.m. That'll give us a few hours before we have to head into the office."

I didn't even wait for her reaction; I didn't really care about her words. I was just so tired and so behind by this point that none of it mattered. I had already turned back to my computer, ready to play catch-up for all the time I had lost entertaining Miss Winters. I had eighty files to document and clear and it was already three in the afternoon. Jesus, it was going to be a long night. I would be lucky to get home by midnight, and it wasn't like I could sleep then either. Bella was too much of a distraction, and I was too pent up from the day. For the first time ever, I actually felt sex-starved.

"Perfect! I'll set the date!"

"Mmhmm..." I could barely hear her, my mind successfully lost in piles upon piles of work.

She got up to leave, furiously scribbling on her agenda book, beaming like the sun. I had almost forgotten she was there. Almost.

"Thank you again Chief Swan! For everything."

"Yup..."

Nodding, blushing, and now realizing that I had already gone back to work, she finally ducked out of the office, letting the door softly click behind her. I swore I could hear her giggle down the hall, and my skin crawled. As soon as I was sure she was gone, I exhaled one very large breath, cursing God and whatever else was out there in the universe that put this all together. Thanks for fucking everything. Now, I had dug my hole even deeper, and I was royally screwed, like shooting my own foot kinda screwed.

I had actually agreed to take Evie Winters out on a date.

Now, those weren't the words technically used, but it was pretty much implied, and by her actions, it was basically what she believed. This was not going to end well, for any party involved, especially me once Bella finds out.

"What the hell have I gotten myself into?"


End file.
